Lisa Lampanelli, coming to Beaver Creek Saturday, talks about life, love and losing 107 pounds
If You Go
What: Comedian Lisa Lampanelli
When: 8 p.m. Saturday
Where: Vilar Performing Arts Center, Beaver Creek
Information: Buy tickets online at vilarpac.org, by phone by calling 888-920-ARTS (2787) or 970-845-TIXS (8497)
BEAVER CREEK — Lisa Lampanelli is 107 pounds lighter, but she’s bigger than ever.
She looks amazing, which is good. She’s funnier than ever, which is better.
She performs at the Vilar Performing Arts Center on Saturday.
Lampanelli is what happens when you mix Don Rickles with Archie Bunker in a vial of estrogen.
In other words, she says what most of us are afraid to think.
About sex: “Usually I’m on top to keep the guy from escaping.”
About being feminine: “I’m at least as feminine as Tom Cruise.”
About marriage: “Jimmy (her now ex-husband) is a prototypical Italian. When he gave me a ring, it still had a finger in it.”
About exercise: “I was sweating like Kathy Lee at a Carrot Top look alike contest.”
About losing 107 pounds: “I’ve walked on stage and the crowd has stared at me like I’m the opening act. But they still let me make fun of them because I still make fun of me.”
She’s on the road most of this year, headed toward Broadway for a one woman show, “Fat Girl, Interrupted.” She headlines Lipshtick, an all women’s comedy lineup in Las Vegas, where they know how to treat women, at least who know how to stand up for themselves.
STILL THE QUEEN OF MEAN
Speaking of stand-up, don’t mistake an extreme makeover for turning over a new leaf. Lampanelli is still the Queen of Mean.
And this counts, sort of — it also makes her an Equal Opportunity Offender:
Not so long ago, she performed in Topeka, Kansas, home of Westboro Baptist Church. When their members started their protest, she vowed to donate $1,000 to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis organization for each one who showed up; 44 did. Or maybe it was 48. She decided it was math and she’d round up.
“WBC inbreds counted 48 protesters, so I won’t quibble,” she tweeted. “I’ll make it an even $50,000!!!”
Lampanelli became a household name when she joined 17 other celebrities on the fifth season of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” She made the top four and raised more than $100,000 for that same Gay Men’s Health Crisis.
She started up the comedy food chain in 2002 when she was the only female comedian invited to skewer Chevy Chase on the NY Friars Club Roast.
She soon became known as the “Queen of the Roast,” going on to skewer such names as Pamela Anderson, Jeff Foxworthy, William Shatner, Flavor Flav, David Hasselhoff and Donald Trump. She was invited to be the roastmaster for Comedy Central’s roast of Larry the Cable Guy.
Lampanelli’s not 30 anymore, or 40, but she’s showing no signs of slowing down.
“My hero has always been Don Rickles, and he’s still out there swinging, and I really find that inspiring,” she said.
Staff Writer Randy Wyrick can be reached at 970-748-2935.
Ferreira is a Ski & Snowboard Club Vail alum who is from Aspen. In accepting his gold medal, he shouted out boot fitter and ski tuner Dano Bruno of Gorsuch in Vail.