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Media positively giddy about III

A few of you can relax, for THE moment is finally here.The long-awaited, Messiah-driven mother of all wars (to loosely borrow from S. Hussein) in which the forces of good go toe to toe with the forces of evil has finally arrived for the faithful to witness live and in full Technicolor. Yipper, Armaged-don is here, people! Line up the grail glasses and let’s all do tribute shots of red wine to whomever or whatever we wish!What a crock.It matters not which side you think is which. All that matters is the rest of us can just sit back and watch the carnage 24/7 on our favorite network. And for those who have killed or had loved ones killed, let’s shout out a big ‘ol AMEN!, for now the killing can really get out of first gear and start making some bona fide headway. Just think happy thoughts about how many can die!This is sickening.I’ve never seen so many people so happy over a war since President Johnson said, “I don’t care what they did to the French, we’re going to send more troops!” And the reason they are so frighteningly happy is they finally have the opportunity to use the highly anticipated and much ballyhooed phrase: World War III.Patience is such a transparent virtue.How sad that a phrase attributed to the two largest conflicts man has ever inflicted upon himself is now a frivolous catch-phrase for the media. It might make you want to puke, but I suppose it is what it is (to loosely borrow from Bill Clinton).There is no actual, all-agreed-to definition for a world war. But general consensus and/or conventional wisdom would call it a military conflict spanning more than two continents in which at least a dozen or so countries ally in an attack against a common enemy. Lots of blood and destruction, especially of the innocent, helps, as well. But far be it from me to embellish a definition.I have also heard it referred to as the “War of Man’s Evil Nature,” as well, but as the acronym spells “WOMEN,” I prefer to not bring it up again.A few minutes watching this putz (Personally Uninspiring TV Z(x)enophobe) on FOX News one morning last week from an Israeli border town put it all in perspective for me.PUTZ: “Most have left this town out of fear, fear of World War III.”GRETCHEN (bubbly news anchor): “Wow. How long has it been since …”PUTZ: “Here comes that ‘whoosh’ sound I’ve been telling you about! Can you hear it?”Mr. Putz slipped down out of frame, apparently alerting us all in TV Land to the danger he had placed himself into for our naive benefit. An explosion of sorts could be heard in the background.PUTZ: “Woah! Gretchen, that one was a little too close for comfort.”And they continued these fascinating exchanges until suddenly cutting away to a car chase in California, followed by a enthralling interview with Luke Campbell (of the infamous 2 Live Crew rap group), as if the former leader of high quality, urban articulation knows the difference between Gaza Strip and Shotgun Willies. Is the story about the war against religious fanatics and their senseless killing of innocents or about how “dangerously” close one particular bomb came to Mr. Putz? I was hoping the next bomb would hit him square on the head so all of the other reporters attempting to impress us with their foolish “on the scene” reporting would run like rabbits back to the nearest airport bar.Let’s get real here.Hezbollah has suddenly become this month’s Al Qaeda, and the war on terrorism has now suddenly become WWIII simply because of a strip of land in northern Israel known as Armageddon and its perceived relevance to religious fanatics who can’t wait for the world to end. The actual war against terrorism (as it is now defined) has been going on since 1948 and will continue, in one form or another, until the end of time as we know it or at the very least until Mel Gibson is locked up in Belleview.World War I was not referred to as such until years after it was over. The label of “World War II” was applied when France and Britain joined the Polish-German war in 1939 (following Japan’s invasion of China in 1937) and America’s official entry in 1941. The media should not demean those who have died in those wars, and now over these past 58 years, by attempting to give their deaths a shiny new name tag, which only serves to boost the already overinflated, machismo-riddled egos of the terrorists.Our troops deserve and need less glorification and more respect from the media, as well as the public to which they report.Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a weekly column for the Daily. He can be reached at poor@vail.net


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