Mulligan voters, politikin’ preachers
Mulligan voters, politikin’ preachersHow do you spell “guaranteed defeat?”Those lucky Vail taxpayers have won the lottery of voting opportunities and are receiving another chance to vote for the already voted “FOR” conference center. I think they will spell it M-O-R-E-T-A-X-E-S.But what a wonderfully quixotic concept for the 2000s. If you disagree with the results of an election, simply keep holding them until you receive the desired results, or at least conclusions you can handle until something better comes along. It’s like changing spouses every now and then to see if you can end up with one that accepts your preoccupation with golf, cigars, beer and BolivianSororityBabes.com.But wait, they are not content to vote on the exact same issue this time around. Nope, this time they have a new, improved question for voters to consider – or reconsider – depending upon one’s perspective.In what is perhaps the most sure-fire way to defeat the earlier victory, this new proposed ballot question offers to double the existing lodging tax, which will have the Catch-22 effect of guaranteeing a “French Victory.”I am obviously a tad slow, but who does this benefit? Those wishing to completely kill the conference center want another vote, but when this new vote goes down in flames of “duh,” they will still be stuck with a conference center, only smaller and less prestigious.Those wishing to still build will lose their chance for a larger and more prominent (read: profitable) conference center, so they can’t be happy, either.Those not caring either way, but not wanting more taxes, will still be stuck with the existing lodging tax and nothing to show for it.All lose-lose scenarios in my limited vision, unless of course the question of doubling the tax actually passes, but that stands as much chance as Merv Lapin, Bobby Ginn and Magnus Lindholm selling all their local assets and buying a Caribbean island together to live out their golden years in a capitalist lovefest surrounded by island babes serving umbrella boat drinks.– n nConversation overheard at a Beaver Creek party a week ago last Friday:”Hey man, what are you doing here?””Um, say what?””I thought you were kidnapped yesterday.””Um, did I say that?””Well, no. Your wife did. She said a couple of Mexican-looking guys rushed in your front door and stole you right from under her, or something like that.””She did?””Yeah, dude. And she called the cops and everything. People are looking for you and stuff, man. You should do something.””I should?””Yeah, you pretty much oughta.””Could I crash at your place in Avon?””Um, sure, but hey, let’s do some more shrooms first.”OK, maybe it is fiction, but my guess is it’s pretty close to reality. No runaway bride from Georgia for Happy Valley. Un-uh. No way. We get the runaway moron from East Vail.– n nTo those few of you out there insistent upon arguing over ancient mythology and such, realize that rational people are only tolerant to a point. Your desire to propel “Intelligent Design” to the forefront of scientific theory is based 100 percent upon blind faith, while the theory of evolution is based 99.9 percent upon scientific fact. I do not care which path you personally choose to follow or teach to your children, as long as it does not interfere with the preferred path for me and my family. However, when those paths cross in the political arena and you attempt to influence public policy by injecting your supernatural beliefs upon others, all bets are off, and tolerance is left sitting on the doorstep of reason. And yes, just like Islamic terrorists who are more than willing to kill another human being for not believing the same way or flushing a few pages of fiction down a toilet, all religious beliefs have influence on mankind in one form or another – some positive, some negative – but that says nothing at all about their validity.In fact, some of my closest friends are amazingly tight with their religious convictions, and both perspectives provide hour after hour of fascinating discussions, yet neither side judges on a personal level.Yet I am constantly amazed at how history has apparently taught some of you nothing. Please, either prove your points with empirical data, or stay out of American politics. We need to move forward, not the other way around.Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a weekly column for the Daily. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.orgVail, Colorado
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