Music for Town Talk’s Senate Campaign
And now, representing the State of Euphoria, The Titans of Town Talk.
As the “Wyrick: Why Not” Senate campaign begins to hit its stride, it’s time for us to begin telling our faithful constituents what they’ll get in exchange for their votes.
It’s simple: Anything they want. Our political philosophy is “Promise Everything/Deny Everything.”
Here’s the first bill we propose to propose:
“The Phone System Music Suitability Act”
As we were cranking up the Campaign Train, we called The Colorado Motor Carriers Association – a truckers’ industry group – to ask the most important question regarding a 12 cylinder diesel power plant: “How fast does it go?”
As one of the Colorado Motor Carriers Association’s fine humanoids was carefully researching our query, we noticed hold music at their intergalactic headquarters that sounds for all the world like some honky-tonk Waylon Jennings tunes.
This is a Very Good Thing, Indeed.
More people should do this. So, if Wyrick’s elected to the Senate and the bill becomes law, we’d have things like:
– SOS: Anything by Linkin’ Park
– Vail Valley Chamber’s central booking service: “It’s Money that Matters,” by Randy Newman. Either that or “In My Room” by the Beach Boys. Nothing, however, by the Motels. We’re a world-class resort, after all.
– Vail Daily: “Sunday Papers” by Joe Jackson.
If our High Sheriff’s don’t turn out to have the sense of humor they need to deal with this about this, we’ll need to get the unemployment office on the phone. Which leads us to …
– Unemployment Office: “Take This Job and Shove It” by Johnny Paycheck. If we get a reprieve, are still gainfully employed and promise to behave better, the song must be “I Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash.
We’d be proud to have any of these artists do a HUGE fund-raiser for our campaign, except Linkin’ Park. We’re a Republican.
Movin’ right along in search of those campaign contributions.
American Ski Class continues
Today we’re proud to bring you the 2004 Countrywide Ford Cup. It’s a pretty cool event, cranks up at 9:30 a.m., continues until 4 p.m., and is at Gold Peak. Today’s deal works like this: A bunch of locals hook up with a celebrity and a hot skier. How they keep score is a little beyond us. Go there. Get tan.