Navigating your relationships in Eagle County
Vail CO, Colorado
EAGLE COUNTY, Colorado ” “I would rather be alone and happy, then miserable with someone else” – unknown
We have relationships with everything. We have relationships with our partners, our work, our bodies, our children, our pets, our environment, our world and our families. Our relationships reflect who we are and they provide lessons we need to learn.
Relationships are not our savior; they will not provide you with the happiness you are lacking within yourself. They can be joyful and they can be painful.
If relationships reflect who you are and where you are in your spiritual development, then who are you before you begin any relationship? Who are you while you’re in the relationship? And, who are you when the relationship ends?
If you seek any relationship to fulfill your own needs, gratify your emotional or sexual needs, you will find that your relationships are easily replaceable and that they always seem to be the same and have the same outcome. The new relationship (and remember, I’m using relationship as a person, place or thing) is not really new. If you have not taken a look at who you are and what you feel you need from relationships, the relationship will always reflect the same you.
In order to find and maintain spiritual relationships we must enter into relationships consciously and clearly. Being conscious and clear within yourself means that you do not make excuses for your behavior, nor do you make excuses for others’ behavior. Just because someone (friend, lover or a new job) is interested in you doesn’t mean you have to jump right in. Pay attention to the reactions in your body as you talk with, date or interview with this new connection.
In addition, being conscious and clear within yourself means that you do your spiritual work on a daily basis ” you are clear about who you are and what you want. While working with clients on their relationships, I’ve been told, “I just want someone waiting when I get home. Someone to greet me with a smile and enjoy being with me.” Is this a fantasy?
Relationships can get to that place, or close to it, but if this is your goal, you’re fooling yourself. You still have to talk with the person, grow and change. The fantasy does not last long.
Relationships (especially friend and intimate) are not 50/50. They are 100 percent/100 percent. If it is a 50/50 relationship, you will find that you rely on the other person to fulfill something in your life; that together you make 100 percent. If you are working on your truth, your consciousness, your awareness, and the other person is doing the same, you are two awake human beings, working on your own souls, choosing to come together to create a spiritual partnership.
We are not taught this way of thinking in our society. This new perspective teaches us to be more awake in every area of our lives. This is not a philosophy of judgment of others, i.e. “I’m on my path and they’re not, so I won’t be their friend.” The spiritual work is always about you first; it’s about learning to make good choices. Your truth, no matter how difficult the road or how long the journey, will change the landscape of your life. No one needs to know what you are working on or going through or how you make choices about what is good for you or not.
We care about others, we have compassion for others and we know we are part of a bigger picture. Relationships are a huge part of this bigger picture. We love with all we have and we feel hurt when it doesn’t work out. If we remain true to ourselves, make choices based on our truth, relationships can be rewarding.
Catherine Zeeb holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in Metaphysics. She has a private therapy practice in Edwards and teaches Metaphysics at Colorado Mountain College in Edwards. You can visit her website at http://www.healing-spirits.net.
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