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New words for 2203

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

KISSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.



SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.



PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.



STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

Birthday brigade

Big Birthday wishes go out to Frank Cisneros from the crew at the Park Hyatt Beaver Creek. A bunch of wonderful people sent their very best. Among the signatures we can read are: H.B. Spike, Bellicados, Milton Montes, Manual Lopez, Bettye, Panchito, Sergio Alamos, Chris, Rex, B. Keller, Paul.

Salvation Army soldiers

The Sunday school classes of the First Lutheran Church of Gypsum are heading a food drive to replenish the Salvation Army’s food pantries across Eagle County.

Ranging in age from preschoolers through high school students, the youth are collecting canned goods and other needed items to help re-stock the Salvation Army shelves, depleted after the holidays. The food drive runs all month. Cash donations are also welcome. Checks can be sent to First Lutheran Church, P.O. Box 391, Gypsum, CO 81637.

Scavenging the slopes

For 35 bucks you get to engage in unbridled fun having with Meet the Wilderness. March 15 is their eighth annual Hit the Slopes for Youth, a skiing scavenger hunt. You get a lift ticket as part of the deal, then you and a bunch of like-minded folks go around the mountain trying to sort out cryptic clues. Every time you solve a clue you get a raffle ticket. At 3 p.m. everyone goes back to the Marriott for bluegrass music, the raffle, food and more general fun having. Call 926-9376.


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