Not ready for goodbye
There are some things in one’s life that ground them, give them security, and comfort them in the face of all odds. For me, there is no challenge, no tragedy, no event in life I couldn’t survive without my friends. Talk to any kid, any person, really, and they can easily talk of the many times a friend supported them, helped them through, or questioned them in a way that may have changed and bettered their life. However, it’s a bit uncommon to pinpoint very soon in one’s future – the exact date even – when every relationship they know will inexorably change. Well, for me and many teenagers in this valley, graduating and leaving the Vail community represents exactly that.
I have yet to truly contemplate taking this comfort zone, this reliable domain of consistency, this at times uncomfortably intimate life of mine and smashing it to pieces. That’s what next year will be – leaving behind all that is known and taking the risk into the unsure, uncertain future. It is almost too difficult to contemplate the time when these people will all go their separate ways – made all the stranger and more different for our experience together. For no one has lived through what we have, nor done, nor accomplished what we did together like we did.
It has been said that you never see 95 percent of your graduating class after commencement, so take a good look around. Adolescents may dread or complain about the tension, drama, and tragedy of high school. Still it breaks my heart to imagine a school day when I won’t just wake up and see some of the same people I’ve known since kindergarten or even just junior year. I guess that day always comes when it’s too late. Too late to let go of the grudge that you don’t remember starting, too late to appreciate the person who has always been there but you never talk to, too late to tell someone how much you need them and can’t imagine a life without them. Luckily, there is so much ahead for us this senior year, and I just hope that by recognizing this inevitable departure we can defeat it, and live these upcoming months making the most of our final time together. Of course I will be saddened deeper than I know the day I say goodbye to my class, but as it stands we still have an amazing year to enjoy with no regrets, and time to make the memories that will be worth crying over in May. VT
Bianca Gordon is a Vail Mountain School senior who will be writing about her last year as a high school student in The Vail Trail.