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Operation Freshmen

Chrystal Clear

Breaker, breaker the new crop of “freshmen” is coming in hot over and out.Well, well, well, it looks like Vail’s seasonal arrivals are starting to hit town. Some of you pathetically await this time of year more so than the first day the mountain opens. You know that since last year’s “freshmen” are already onto you or have left the valley, this is your big chance to score with an unsuspecting newcomer.If you’re smart, you’ll venture into this “hunting” season with a well-choreographed plan. Choose to wing it? You may get shot down. Remember, you’re not the only one trying to play this angle, so if you don’t bring your A game, you’ll be sitting on the bench.Now for your plan of attack:Tactic: Stage a RECON missionStrategy: before establishing your base camp and tactics, you must first do a little battlefield surveillance. Choose your wingmen carefully, head to the bars and systematically observe the battle area (dance floor or bar stools), gaining timely information and combat intelligence.Tactic: Create Base Development Plan (BDP)Strategy: after surveillance, it’s time to create your BDP. You and your trusted squad must decide where your odds are best and set up camp. Time is of the essence. The longer it takes to establish your base, the more of the opposition you’re letting infiltrate. Things to take into consideration: ratio of men to women, comfort of location (you may be stationed there for a while) and connections with bar employees (free fuel, i.e. drinks, always helps!).Tactic: Establish Basic Tactical Organization (BTO)Strategy: once you’ve developed your base, you must devise your plan. After assessing the area, a Target of Opportunity (TO) must be established. This target must be communicated to your wingmen who will assist in planning and executing your attack. Warning: wingmen should NEVER be sent to converse with the TO in case they should happen to take a liking to them instead of you (there is no room in this plan for “friendly fire”).Tactic: Aim, Shoot, FireStrategy: launch a few guided missiles (a.k.a. drinks) her way and then skillfully make your approach. Read all signals and make sure that your TO is in range. If so, take your final shot ask for the date.Tactic: Gauge blast effect and assess battle damageStrategy: after you’ve taken the shot, you need to quickly assess the effects. Were you successful? If not, how much damage was done? Can you still recover, rebuild and attack again? If not retreat! Don’t waste another second focusing on this “dead” target. There are many more TO’s, so set your aim elsewhere. Wasting your efforts on a TO that has been established as a “dead” could be a costly mistake.Remember, it’s all about strategery. Roger? Affirmative 10-4 let Operation Freshmen commence Crystal Clear is a socially savvy Vail native who brings a candid female’s opinion and pointers to The Vail Trail. Crystal would love to hear your opinions at crystalclearinvail@yahoo.com.


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