Picking up the pieces when everything falls apart
Vail, CO, Colorado
There are times in our lives when everything falls apart. There are times when shielding and deluding ourselves no longer works. The image we project doesn’t fit, either. The bottom falls out.
This is when the pain settles in. It may feel like the world is crashing down on you. You may wonder who you are. The truth of who you are is being exposed and it doesn’t feel good. You look in the mirror and see ” what you consider to be ” your flaws.
When things fall apart we need to pick up the pieces. It is a test and this test can also be healing. We think we need to fix the problem, but the truth is we can never really fix the problem. It will subside, then show up again, subside and show up again.
The healing comes in learning that we can allow the flow of life. Things happen, sadness or grief comes in, happiness moves through. The healing comes in learning to allow these emotions to move through us and through our life. Because we’re attached, it may feel like things are falling apart. Allowing the emotions to show up, recognizing them and then moving through them is when you heal.
Expectations of how something will feel will cause suffering. Letting go allows us to experience, then move on. When we have expectations of what it is to be or what will come of something, we can get very disappointed. Things don’t always work out the way we think they should. Things will work out the way they’re supposed to though.
Participate in The Longevity Project
The Longevity Project is an annual campaign to help educate readers about what it takes to live a long, fulfilling life in our valley. This year Kevin shares his story of hope and celebration of life with his presentation Cracked, Not Broken as we explore the critical and relevant topic of mental health.
Buddhism calls this cycle of hopelessness samsara. The cycle goes round and round. We have an idea or an emotion, then we have expectations of how that is supposed to turn out or feel and when it doesn’t meet expectations, we’re disappointed. This is the cycle of samsara. We can choose to either wake up or put ourselves to sleep during these times.
When things arise for us to deal with and look at, whether these are things in our minds or things of the world, we can learn to make room for all that is happening. Making room means that we don’t ignore, “cowboy up,” or pretend it’s not happening. We allow ourselves to have the experience. In doing so, the pain, suffering, etc. will not linger within ” it will be experienced and released.
The old way must die when things fall apart. The challenge or obstacle calls for a change. It is asking you to look at who you are, what you are doing and how you can step up in your life.
This is when tenderness comes in to play. Faced with a change, especially one within, we may not like what we see. Like any obstacle that arises, allow yourself to experience the change, and allow the old way to die. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself in times of change and challenge. The fear is that we don’t know who we will be when we come out the other end but you might just like what you see.
Catherine Zeeb holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in Metaphysics. She has a private therapy practice in Edwards and teaches Metaphysics at Colorado Mountain College in Edwards. You can visit her Web site at http://www.healing-spirits.net.