Pork what the safety huh?
We thought it was a joke. We still have our suspicions.When the good folks at Vail Resorts sent us the press release about the company’s new safety mascot, no one in the newsroom could quite believe it, when, in breathless public relations prose, we first received word about (drumroll, please) Pork Chop, the Safety Pig!Ignoring for a moment the fact that a pig named Pork Chop is a lot like a cow named T-Bone, only not kosher, what in the wide, wide world of sports does a giant pink pig have to do with any sort of winter activity? A snowman would have made sense. So would a snowshoe hare (although the thinking here is that using a lynx would probably still be a little touchy). Shoot, even a pine tree would have worked, if only to remind people not to ski into it.But Pork Chop it is, so we need to get accustomed to his/her goofy cartoon face. Ever willing to help (help is the middle name of the Interim Titans of Town Talk, or if it isn’t, it should be), we’ve composed a little song about the ski company’s new Pink, Cross-Eyed Face of Safety. We’ll share the words, but the melody remains the intellectual property of the Interim Titans of Town Talk LLC (which in this case means “Limited Libel Conglomerate”).So the next time you see Pork Chop, think of this little ditty:Pork Chop the Safety PigHis body’s pink and his nose is big
Pork Chop the Safety PigHe’s looking out for youPork Chop the Safety PigWants you safe upon your rigSo Pork Chop the Safety Pig Is looking out for youIf you’re an unsafe dude
You ski too fast, or board too rudePork Chop the Safety Pig is coming after youIf you make Pork Chop madHe’ll pull your pass, and tell your dadHe’s Pork Chop the Safety PigHe’s looking out for you
Try to get that one out of your head in the middle of the night …BMHS Class of ’85Remember Kristin Kenney from Battle Mountain High School’s Class of ’85? She had ’80s big hair. Well, 20 years later, she’s now Kristin Kenney Williams and still has big hair. Anyway, she’s helping plan the 20th class reunion over the July 4 weekend this summer. Anyone from the Class of ’85 is asked to e-mail their contact information to email@example.com. Are you still here, Diane?Jane Imber of Wolcott recently sent in the following. It would be pretty fun if anything came of it, so we offer it to you, dear readers: On a recent visit to Kangaroo Island in southern Australia, I met a cattle rancher who recalled reading an article about Vail in National Geographic around 1973. He was a teenager then on his father’s ranch. He said there was a photo of a girl named Diane who was so pretty, he thought for a while about moving to Vail. If anyone knows who Diane was or how she can be reached, please let me know. I promised to tell Greg about the girl whose face was so memorable. You can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks.Vail, Colorado