Possibilities endless with Iraq; ‘some’ deaths will occur in each
Hussein continues to evade inspectors, tossing out bones to the United States each time President Bush is mere hours away from declaring, “It’s too late to turn back now.” This in turn allows France, Germany, Russia and some country calling themselves “Belgium” to yell and scream for more inspectors and more time for “serious” dialogue.
On the Ides of March, 66 (one for each year of his glorious life) Al-Samud II missiles are simultaneously launched from previously unknown strategic positions throughout central Iraq. Each has been customized to release approximately 100 pounds of the deadly nerve agent VX over the final one-mile stretch of highly populated city the missile travels before impact.
Four missiles head directly south, the number apparently in sync with the total days needed to free Kuwait a dozen years ago, landing in Kuwait City, killing thousands within hours. Similar to sarin – the deadly inhalant Hussein used on his own Iraqi Kurds in the 1980s – VX disrupts the functioning of nerves that control breathing, the victim dying of suffocation as the diaphragm fails to expand and contract. However, unlike any other biological or chemical weapons, a single milligram of VX can kill simply by touching the skin.
Apparently to commemorate the March 16, 1988, killing of 5,000 Iraqi Kurds, 16 missiles travel straight north to the city of Kurdistan, killing over 20,000 before the day’s end.
Adding up the numbers from the date 1/18/1991 – the day Saddam fired his first Scud missile into Israel – he sends exactly 30 missiles in that same direction again, this time killing over 100,000 Israelis by sundown. He snickers upon hearing reports of a few hundred Syrians and Jordanians also dying a “most horrible death S tee-hee-hee.”
The remaining 16 warheads allegedly crash in undisclosed locations, but the United Nations vows to search diligently until found.
The world responds with horrific hindsight. “We could have stopped it if only the inspectors had more time,” claimed an anonymous spokesman from the French U.N. delegation.
Hypothetical scenario No. 2:
President Bush makes the final decision to go to war in spite of a U.N. resolution passed the previous day condemning such an action.
He begins the battle on Saturday morning, March 1, knowing that the American public would want to stay home and watch the progress on their TVs, but this way most would not be missing work, thus no more pressure on the U.S. economy than necessary.
By Sunday night, March 2, and with how-to instructions provided by France, the Iraqi army surrenders and Hussein’s remains are found alongside his son’s underneath the rubble of a previously believed to be bomb-proof bunker.
Admitting detailed plans for terrorists attacks in Paris, Berlin, Washington D.C., and other areas around the globe, remaining “leaders” of the Iraqi government come clean about stockpiles of anthrax, botulinal toxins, mustard gas and the ever popular VX nerve agent, prompting apologies from Germany, Russia and China, while France continues to promote the need for more inspectors.
Hypothetical scenario No. 3:
Early on the morning of Saturday, March 1, moments before President Bush declares war, Saddam Hussein and his rapist-for-hire son, Odai, declare “Death to all infidels” live on Iraqi television as they point antique Lefaucheux pinfire revolvers (made in France) at one another and pull the triggers simultaneously.
At the same moment, Baghdad’s Al Tuwaitha Nuclear Center (acquired and built by France in 1975) experiences a Middle East version of the “China Syndrome,” sending radioactive waste due east, covering all of Iran, Afghanistan and parts of India. Millions are expected to die within the year.
No. 4: Saddam Hussein and President Bush are locked into a round rubber room in Paris (something they apparently have in abundance) for 24 hours, at which point they both emerge, holding hands and declaring peace and love for one another and their respective countries.
The world rejoices in a massive hand-holding spectacle, with the only ones abstaining being the billion or so pledging allegiance to Allah and declaring death to all those with “smiles on their infidel faces,” at which point Hussein realizes, “Hey, is not that pope guy an infidel also? What was I thinking?”
The entire mess starts up again.
No. 5: Saddam resigns and retires to a villa in the French countryside while Iraq holds its first real democratic elections and the world takes a deep breath. The very next week, thousands are killed as commercial jetliners begin blowing up worldwide.
Luckily for today’s free world leaders, the free world leaders of yesterday did not succumb to the pressures of mass protest. Otherwise none of our Heinikens would be brewed with pure American spring water. True leadership requires tough decision making, and deciding upon war is the absolute toughest of those decisions. The human race either learned a lesson about tyranny from World War II, or it did not.
I am afraid we will all know the answer relatively soon.
Richard Carnes of Edwards can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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