Put a sock in it | VailDaily.com

Put a sock in it

Compiled by Allen R. Smith

I was teaching a group of six kids in a never-ever class.Three of the young students were doing quite well, while the other three, friends from a bus tour, were not. The three friends kept complaining that their feet were killing them, finding it necessary to stop and sit down every 15 minutes or so. I went through all of the usual items: I checked their buckles, ensured there were no folded layers of underwear or fabric inside the boots. I asked them, “Are your toes pushing against the front of your boots?” No, no problem there. After exhausting all of my options, I came to the conclusion that perhaps they were just couch potatoes and in poor physical condition. Yet, I found it unusual to have three kids in one class, with the same complaint.It was getting near lunchtime, so we agreed to go into the lodge, where we could pull off their boots and have a better look. As I sat the group down, I facetiously remarked to them, “Yesterday, I had some real idiots in my class. The bozos picked out the wrong size boots, so they tried to fill up the extra space with four extra pairs of socks.””By the way, how many pairs of socks do you have on?”- Berny Cooper, Okemo, Vt.Blinds have more funYears ago, when staff regulations were not nearly as stringent as they are today, it was quite common for ski instructors between assignments to “let their hair down” and entertain the guests on the mountain with light-hearted pranks. Some of them were even in good taste.One day, two instructors skiing out of uniform managed to get their hands on two bright, fluorescent orange bibs. One was emblazoned with “Blind Skier” and the other with “Blind Skier Guide.”The two instructors were heading down Powerline, a very mellow run underneath Chair 4 at the top of Vail Mountain, that abruptly ends with a 25-foot cliff. As they made their way down, the “guide” yelled, “left, right, left, right,” to the “blind” skier as they rapidly approached the cliff. Anticipating disaster, the people on the chair lift began yelling at the pair, “Stop! There’s a cliff up ahead!!”Ignoring the shouts, the blind skier kept skiing toward the precipice as the guide shouted, “left, right, left, right.”Just as they graced the edge of the cliff, the guide shouted to the blind skier, “Jump!” Without missing a beat, the two jumped off the cliff, nailed their landings and kept skiing without missing a beat.The guide resumed, “left, right, left, right.”- Bob Hatcher, VailVail, Colorado

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