Real estate ad lingo exposed |

Real estate ad lingo exposed

Allen Best

WINTER PARK – Ever confused by what is meant by certain words in real estate advertisements? Penny Hamilton, a real estate agent in Colorado’s Grand County, came up with a tongue-in-cheek lexicon. Here are a few samples as printed in the Winter Park Manifest:

Amazingly convenient: The ski bus passengers probably look into your bathroom and bedroom windows every 10 minutes as the shuttle roars past your property.

Close to night life: The neighbors play loud music.

Completely remodeled: If you think this is funky, you should have seen the orange shag carpet and macrame wall hangings before the remodel to rattan chairs and fluffy throw rugs.

Covered parking: After each snowfall, your car is covered.

Gently sloping lot: Mountain goats call it home.

Incredible view: If you cock your head at just the right angle, you can almost make out the tip of a peak.

Mountain chic: The same mountain cabin, but costs more, just as chocolate mousse costs more than chocolate pudding.

Quiet location: At the end of the telephone and electric lines and snowplow route.

Realtor: A person who speaks only in adjectives.

Motorist spends two nights in cold

CRESTED BUTTE – Although Colorado has been keeping more roads across passes open through winter, a trend that was begun about 1930, there are still exceptions. Among the exceptions is Kebler Pass, which in warm weather is the shortest route from the Interstate 70 corridor to Crested Butte.

The week before Thanksgiving a construction worker tried to use the road, but drove his Ford Explorer into a ditch. He spent the night out, but a snowmobiler came across him. After two days out in the cold, Crested Butte Search and Rescue had him out of harm’s way.

Life is smokey near forest primeval

LAKE TAHOE, Calif. – The U.S. Forest Service took a small bit of heat about prescribed fires. Instead of winds, as had been predicted, a temperature inversion in the basin caused smoke to remain. Some people complained the acrid air had become a health hazard.

But the Tahoe World, in an editorial, says this is the price for living in a forested area. “Š all Tahoe residents need to realize that if they live in the Sierra they are going to breath in smoke from time to time.”

Better smoke here and there from prescribed burns than smoke from the catastrophic fires that threaten homes, said the newspaper.

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