Reasons for being a cut above |

Reasons for being a cut above

Folks availed themselves to pampering of all sorts.

Last Sunday’s Haircut-A-Thon was one of those rare, wonderful fund-raisers in which people actually did something besides storm the open bar while congratulating themselves on their community connections and their disposable income.

Women – hair stylists, nail technicians, massage therapists and others – from all over Eagle County donated their services for the day, at the request of’s Kacee Picot. And hundreds of people came to be coiffed at 50 bucks a pop the generous women, heretofore known as the Sunday Stylists.

You’ve never looked better.

The Haircut-A-Thon was a fund-raiser for the Resource Center, a local organization that runs all kinds of incredible programs, including operating Eagle County’s safehouse, assisting regional victims of domestic violence and abuse, and The Buddies Program.

Women helping women. In the immortal words of the great Aretha Franklin, “Sisters are doin’ it for themselves.”

Down on Main Street

The event was something like heading uptown with your dad on Saturday morning to run a few errands, which inevitably ended up at the local barber shop. If memory serves, that shop was five chairs, no waiting – except there was waiting because everyone else had headed uptown with the same ultimate destination in mind, which made it sort of a celebration.

On both Main Street and at Sunday’s event in the Avon Rec Center, the air was filled with the sounds of laughing, talking, gossiping, stories, catching up and the faint smell of hair tonic.

Just as at the ol’ Main Street barber shop, the magic came to the Avon Rec Center, despite the obvious lack of cigar smoke. The barbers you remember as a kid all looked like Floyd from the “Andy Griffith Show.” But once you get passed the biological truth that they are both carbon-based, bipedal life forms, the similarities between Floyd and the Sunday stylists pretty much went the way of the Bull Moose Party. And if Floyd had tried to make himself look like Sunday’s talented, intelligent, breathtaking hair stylists, Andy would have hauled him off in handcuffs – which might have been fine with Floyd if he were truly into cross-dressing to look like a Sunday Stylist as long as the handcuffs were padded.

There are a few other similarities, too, between Floyd and the Sunday Stylists.

– Floyd cuts hair; they cut hair, except when the Sunday Stylists were done, folks said stuff like, “Yep, that looks great!” When Floyd was done, folks said stuff like, “I guess it’ll grow back!”

– Floyd wore a smock; some of them wore smocks. But then, that’s a little like saying there’s no difference between a Pinto and a Porsche. If Floyd had tried to wear his smock like them, it would have led us straight back to Andy and the Handcuffs, which is not a bad name for a rock band.

– Floyd possibly had a tattoo (we know some of the barbers in that Main Street barber shop had tattoos); some of the Sunday Stylists had tattoos. You absolutely did not want to see Floyd or the hometown barbers make their tattoos dance. With the Sunday Femmes, you weren’t so certain. It might be more a case of artistic expression.

Choosing a style

When guys are surrounded by bunches of beautiful women, as guys were during Sunday’s Haircut-A-Thon, they’ll do what they’re told – because then these women might like them, and any guy will do anything to get women to like him. Any guy will tell you that all great male undertakings are undertaken to impress women. It’s why we do manly stuff like lifting heavy objects, exploring space thinking intergalactic conquest, and showering and shaving and walking upright – and you always thought the latter was because some smart aleck put the potato chips and pop on the top shelf.

High among those lofty goals is changing your hairstyle. If you’ve been walking the Earth as long as I have – I’m in my extremely late 20s – changing your hairstyle is a semi-big deal, and you’re a little nervous about it.

Relax. If you’re a guy in your extremely late 20s, you’re old enough to remember crewcuts, ’60s silliness, mullets and disco slickbacks. You’ve been though the Hairstyle Change of Life a few times.

Just the facts, m’ame

Let’s review the facts of the matter.

– You’re a guy.

– You’re surrounded by beautiful women, including your Reason for Living.

– The secret to a long and happy relationship is your ability to deal with women, by following their usually reasonable suggestions.

– There are only two ways to deal with women’s usually reasonable suggestions: one, let them think they are having their way; two, let them have it.

– There is also a rule in genteel society that states: “Beautiful women get what they want, even if they sometimes have to get it for themselves.”

– True beauty goes to the soul, and the women comprising the Sunday Stylists are truly beautiful.

You are guy, and your job is to see that your personal Reason for Living is happy. Changing your hairstyle will make her happy. Unlike tatoos and True Love for your Reason for Living, haircuts are not a lifetime commitment.

Have a seat in the barber’s chair, put your hair in the hands of an artisan and artist like Candi John, like I did Sunday, and repeat, like a mantra, the following:

“I am surrounded by beautiful women! Have your way with me!”

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