Richard Carnes: Other things to think about today
Are we having fun yet?
Need something to take your mind off how you voted, how you might vote in the future, or how you may be standing in line this very moment to vote, on this oh-so-important election day?
Yes, enquiring minds of the malevolent matrix must know: Will America choose the red pill or the blue pill?
While some of you are thoroughly convinced the world as we know it begins a downward death spiral as soon as 270 electoral votes are collected tonight (hopefully) for one candidate or the other, I think the rest of us could use something else to look forward to, or at the very least something else to just simply think about through this evening.
Guess what opens in a mere 17 days?
Yep, voluptuous Vail Mountain, weather permitting, and a mere five days later we can enjoy chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate in the lift lines at beautiful Beaver Creek. Big dumps of white gold at night followed by powder-packed mornings, overpriced burgers, crack-showing shredders in brown, shouting employees in yellow jackets, cobalt-blue skies and malt-filled apres ski.
In only 23 days it will be Thanksgiving, compete with family we haven’t seen in a year, turkey, dressing, football,
and drunk uncles with cranberry sauce dripping from all three of their chins.
And, of course, there are only 50 shopping days until Christmas! Time to budget the coin, plan the gifts, decorate the house and dream about being a kid again.
In just 11 days we have the Vail Performing Arts Academy rendition of “Viva Las Vegas,” where around 783 (give or take) local kids will do their best Elvis impersonations up at the Vilar. Other Vilar shows over the winter to look forward to include Lyle Lovett, Three Dog Night, Charlie Daniels Band, The Wailers, Beach Boys, Kenny Loggins, Last Comic Standing Tour, Smothers Brothers and Lily Tomlin.
Speaking of Vilar, jury selection for Senor Alberto began last week, so we can begin our countdown to the upcoming name change for the venue (provided he is convicted, of course).
Anyway, for further entertainment over the next few weeks we have the new Bond flick, “Quantum of Solace,” a remake of “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” starring Keanu Reeves in what appears to be his first good role in this millennium, and the return of Jim Carrey to comedy with “Yes Man,” although it looks strangely similar to “Liar, Liar” from the ’90s.
As far as tomorrow goes, just realize that the candidates you pretend to hate habitually fail to live up to your fears and concerns almost as much as the candidates you pretend to love routinely fail to live up to your hopes and dreams.
Either way, we can smile at the prospect of no more political ads, Palin speeches, Tina Fey impressions, Joe the Plumber metaphors, family references to Kenya and that regardless of the outcome, Rush Limbaugh will never run out of material.
Locally we’ll have at least one new commissioner to ridicule, and chances are your house will be worth more next year because it can’t possibly go any lower.
So on that happy note, speaking from a strictly personal viewpoint, whether we have the first president younger than me or one a quarter of a decade older, he will be my new commander in chief. As long as he answers the phone at 3 a.m. no matter who is on the other end, he will have my full support.
Still standing in line?
Hey, did you know it’s not illegal to drink and vote?
Everybody knows if you can’t swing a dead lynx and hit a bar or liquor store in Happy Valley you’re standing in the wrong place. So ask that guy (or girl) next to you to hold your place in line and go do a quick shot or pick up a nondescript paper sack to hide the liquid goodies. And be a sweetheart and offer to bring your fellow queue standers a to-go sack as well.
It makes waiting in those long, long lines a lot more entertaining.
NOTE: The preceding opinions belong to Richard and are not necessarily shared by this newspaper. But for purely superficial reasons, he thinks they should be.
Richard Carnes of Edwards writes a column for the Daily. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.