Selling men: It’s politically correct
She decided buying bachelors raises more money than baking brownies, which is how she came to be in charge of selling man flesh at Friday’s Project Graduation Bachelor Auction.
Instead of slaving away in the kitchen for an endless stream of bake sales, Ramunno ditched the apron and donned the whip. It’s a fundraiser for Project Graduation, an alcohol-free graduation party for high school seniors.
Ramunno and her crew of organizers have amassed a veritable mountain of manliness flesh, all 100 percent single. One at a time they’ll go on the auction block, to be sold to the highest bidder, who will then go on a date with the brutes. The dates are non-intimate affairs, with everything from Harley Davidson trips to golf.
From doctors to cowboys, they’re dealing in fantasy. The bachelors were nominated by women, all of whom swear to the marketability of the men.
“If you ask a guy about a friend, you never know what you’ll get,” Ramunno explained. “So we talked to the women who work with them.”
One of the best things about the event is the male squirming going on. Most of these guys are nervous.
“Wouldn’t you be if it was your carcass up there for sale?” asked Curtis Cook.
Cook works for Lakota as a raft guide. He moved to Vail from Minnesota two years ago, and he’s appearing at Rumanno’s behest. Though he’s not shopping for a girlfriend, he’s looking forward to the date, which will probably be a Hummer or raft trip.
“I’m nervous, but I can do it,” he said. “I’m a character. Being a raft guide, you have be able to stand up in front of people and talk. I’m not afraid to embarress myself.”
Bachelor Nathan Crumb used to bust high school parties when he worked for the Eagle County Sheriff’s Department. He now works at Allegria Spa in Beaver Creek. He plans to capitalize on the situation.
“I thought it would be fun – a good way to help out and get a date,” he said.
Darrick Robinson was nominated by a co-worker, and he’s not entirely sure how he got talked into the whole business. He’s described as “a very pleasant, cordial gentleman” by one woman.
“It sounded like a good deal… but…” he said, amidst much heckling from his friends.
Chad Lee, on the other hand, is looking forward to the whole kit and kaboodle. He put extensive thought into planning his date, which will actually be a double date with his friend Dan Sunday. Sunday is a pilot, and the foursome will zoom off to an undisclosed location for lunch and golf.
“I never had second thoughts, because it’s a great cause,” said Lee. “It’s a good idea – but crazy, too.”
Once the women buy their men, the two will figure out what kind of timing works with their schedule.
“At these things you see a lot of married women pooling money for a single friend,” said Rumanno. “It’s politcally correct to sell men, just not women.”
According to Rumanno, some of the dates are so fun women might want to bid on them, not necessarily the guy. Women must be at least 18-years old to attend, and must be out of high school to bid. Minimum bids vary, and are based on the date. They’ll accept cash, check or Visa/Mastercard.
The evening kicks off at 9 p.m. Friday, and goes until midnight at Eagle Ranch Pavilion. Cover will be $10, which includes food and soft drinks. For more information call 328-2301.
Wren Wertin can be reached via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or phone at 949-0555 ext. 618.