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Staff Reports

Dating is not easy, and first dates are notoriously brutal, but it all has to be done if you are ever going to find “the one.” So if you’re single and have been shying away from subjecting yourself to the torturous dating process, it’s time to get down to business. What are you waiting for? It’s never going to get any easier. That first date is always going to be queer, so just accept that and move on.Since you guys are the ones who usually take the initiative and typically ask us girls out, here are some ways to help your first dates be as painless as possible. Who knows, if you play your cards right, you may even get lucky!Pointer #1: The Dinner DateThe pressure’s on. You want to pick a restaurant that’s fun and lively, with good food and atmosphere, and still be able to pay your rent when it’s all through. I understand that this can be a bit difficult in Vail, but that’s still no justification for exposing your date to the lovely cuisine and atmosphere of Denny’s or the Subway located in the Lionshead Parking Structure. If this is your idea of a great first date, there very well may never be a second one. Although florescent lights do allow you to see what she really looks like, please find a place that’s figured out the dimmer switch.Pointer #2: Don’t make things harder than they need to beWith the bars in Vail being heavily populated by men, this is logically NOT the best place to bring a girl that you’re trying to score with. Unless it’s fun for you to watch cheesy, body-building men try to bump and grind with your date while singing along to the lyrics “I’m too sexy for my shirt,” you may want to think about choosing a more quiet setting where you can actually talk and get to know each other.Pointer #3: Take the pressure offInstead of opting for the traditional dinner date, take advantage of Vail’s setting and ask her out on a ski or snowshoe date. By doing something during the day, outdoors and athletic, you are taking some of the pressure off of the first date. CAUTION: This could backfire if any of the following are true: You’re not so hot on skis and she’s an ex ski racer. You’re completely out of shape and nearly pass out after exerting yourself snowshoeing. You’re a strong skier and snowshoer and have little patience for her inability to keep up.If none of these things apply to you, I highly recommend the outdoor date. And don’t forget to hit the aprs scene a little alcohol has always been known to help give the courage needed to put the moves on.Pointer #4: Conversation cuesLast but not least, even if you think that you’re extraordinarily interesting, don’t talk incessantly about yourself or your relationship with your mother. Let her do most of the talking. You’ll get to learn more about her and she’ll no doubt go home thinking that you’re a great conversationalist since everyone loves talking about themselves.Most importantly, have fun out there in the dating world of Vail. It’s really not that bad if you do it right.-Crystal Clear

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