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Ski champ loses his lift ticket

Daily Staff Report

One day I was teaching a young woman to ski at the same time that the world-renowned Austrian skiing champion, Karl Schranz, was using our mountain to practice for a big race. I was standing in front of my student when suddenly Karl came flying over the rise, skiing over the tails of the young lady’s skis. More impressed with their near-collision than the ski champion’s fame, the young lady abruptly terminated our lesson and stormed down to the ski school office to lodge a formal complaint. With no other recourse at his disposal, the ski school director was forced to notify the ski patrol, who in turn sent a patrolman to pull Karl Schranz’ lift ticket. This, of course, meant that the ski champion could not ski anymore, ending his practice for the big race the next day.In retribution for the complaint, Karl lodged a complaint of his own with the Austrian consulate, immediately escalating the situation into an international incident. It was now the United States against the Austrian government.All day long, telephone calls flew back and forth between the two countries, trying to diplomatically resolve the incident. The lady would not budge and the consulate was growing more indignant by the minute. By the time the ski area management became involved, Karl had lost an entire day of training and was forced to forfeit the race the next day because he was still not allowed to ski on the mountain.The moral of the story: Hell hath no fury like a woman Schranz’d.- Bill Briggs, Snowking, Wyo.The wrong cheekA number of years ago, my new girlfriend visited me at the resort for a week of skiing. To earn extra points with her, I took her skis down to the basement and put a razor-sharp edge on them.The next day while skiing by herself, she took a nasty fall. As she fell, she managed to roll to the side, sitting on her freshly sharpened edges. The result was a deep cut into her right buttocks.A Good Samaritan happened to ski by and asked her if she needed assistance from the ski patrol. She said yes, she needed medical assistance and a ride down to the bottom.After a few minutes, a ski patrolman came screeching to a halt beside my girlfriend who was sitting in the snow. He said to her, “Say, I just got a call that there was a lady on the snow that had a serious cut to her cheek. I can see by looking at you that you’re not the one that needs assistance. Have you seen the injured lady?”My girlfriend glared at the ski patrolman and said, “You’ve got the right lady, alright. Just the wrong cheek!”- Cleve Johnson, Sun Valley, IdahoVail, Colorado


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