Smashed potatoes tumbling down Vail |

Smashed potatoes tumbling down Vail

J.K. Perry
Preston Utley/Vail DailySkiers and boarders or bread pudding, turkies and stuffing weave their way around each other on a groomer Thursday.

VAIL – As “Captain Chaos” skis down the mountain, a supernatural entity waves a masher above his head, waiting to turn him into smashed potatoes.That’s what the “Captain” compares his skiing to – smashed potatoes.”I’m totally outta control every minute. It’s a yard sale waiting to happen,” Dean “Captain Chaos” Ramos said.The Vail Daily beat feet to Vail Mountain on Thursday to find out what traditional Thanksgiving dish riders likened to their skiing or snowboarding style. A cornucopia of pies, pudding, dressing and turkeys graced the mountain table.

Dan Ryan blew out his ACL a few years ago. Since then, the leg has been a bit fowl.”Since I’m in the recovery phase, I’m certainly not going with anything that thick,” he said. “Something like pecan pie – slow baked and nutty.”I’ve got one turkey leg going and the other is a ham like it outta be.”The Game Creek bartender even pegged the gapers.”They’re something all over the place, like gravy. You can get the thick gravy clogging things up a bit,” he said.A brush with some fashionably-hip, old-school skiers lead a gaggle of two gals and a guy to ponder the subtleties of one-piece ski suits while waiting in line at Chair 3. In jest, one of the gals mentioned she’d like to wear a gold, stretch one-piece suit trimmed with fur as a fashion statement.The three fashion gurus were joined by Mike Elberts, who shared his thoughts on what Thanksgiving moniker would best fit someone donning the gold suit on the slopes.”A cornucopia, because it’d be really funny looking and I don’t know exactly what they’re for anyway,” Elberts said.

As for himself, Elberts remained strictly modest about his snowboarding.”Sweet potatoes; maybe with brown sugar. Because I go down real smooth,” he said.Skier Lucie Kulhanek is like wild rice, because “I’m a wild woman,” she said.Pizza,” Marty Bloom joked. After some consideration, he changed his answer. “I ski like a turkey. My arms are always flailing.””Mashed potatoes,” rider Sam Biszantz said. “I’d rather fall into mashed potatoes than anything else on the table.”The gawkers and out-of-control riders are canned cranberries, Bisantz said.”You know, they’re all wiggly and stuck in that position,” she said.”Stuffing,” Rich Wetzstein said. “A little spicy and a little flair sometimes. It’s got a little bit of everything. Fast, slow, you can savor it and there’s a couple bumps here and there.”

“I’m dessert because I’m always bringing up the end,” Shirley Ramos said. What kind of dessert? “Bread pudding because it’s a classic.”As Laura Locher waited to start work at Garfinkel’s, she pondered the proper dish related to her boarding skills.”I’m definitely not green bean casserole. It’s too mushy,” she said. “I feel like stuffing. It’s kinda bold and kinda soft.” Staff Writer J.K. Perry can be reached at 949-0555, ext. 14622, or Vail, Colorado

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