Take this quiz to find out if your man is having a midlife crisis | VailDaily.com
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Take this quiz to find out if your man is having a midlife crisis

Neil Rosenthal

Dear Neil: How can I determine if my boyfriend is going through a midlife crisis?

– Disturbed in Longmont

Dear Longmont: Take this quiz, courtesy of Gay Courter and Pat Gaudette in the book “How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis” (Perigee). How many of the following fits your man?



n He is between 40 and 60 years old

n He is on either side of his 40th or 50th birthday



n He is showing concerns about getting old

n He has bought a more youthful wardrobe

n He is coloring his hair or trying a trendier cut



n He reminisces about his teen years or “when he was younger”

n He listens to romantic songs from his dating years

n He talks about his “first love” and wonders “what if”

n He yearns for a sportier vehicle (or has bought one)

n He doesn’t find enjoyment in the usual leisure-time activities

n He wants to do something adventurously out of character like hang gliding or auto racing

n He’s bored with his life

n He questions the meaning of his life

n He is dissatisfied with his job or career

n He feels trapped by responsibilities or obligations to others

n He has financial problems

n He worries about the future

n He suddenly wants another child

n He is unhappy that the children are grown and on their own

n He has some major health problems

n He has experienced the recent death of a parent, close friend or other family member

n He is frequently nervous and/or irritable

n Uncharacteristically, he is frequently criticizing you or your relationship

n He is not interested in sex

n He feels inadequate

n He says he loves you but isn’t “in love with you”

n He is uncharacteristically abusive

n He is recently divorced

n He worries about everything to excess

n His sleeping habits have changed

n He drinks more or is doing more mood altering drugs

n He feels that life no longer has any purpose

n He is concerned about death and dying

n He rewrites what you considered a good relationship by stating “We were never happy”

n He wants what he can’t have and doesn’t want whatever he knows he can have

n He finds himself thinking “responsibility bad, spontaneity good”

Scoring: 0-7 indicates normal midlife emotions; 8-15 suggests more serious midlife issues; 16 or more indicates that a crisis is on the immediate horizon.

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Boulder. He can be reached at (303) 758-8777 or e-mail at his Web site http://www.heartrelationships.com


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