The Town Talk Titans’ campaign train rolls on |

The Town Talk Titans’ campaign train rolls on

Daily Staff Report
Special to the DailyMicha, thank you for being a great leader of youth, a true servant of Jesus Christ, and a very forgiving friend.

Randy Wyrick and His Loyal Campaign Staff are making a run at the United States Senate, mostly because it sounds like fun.

n Today’s Campaign Slogan – “Wyrick: The Voice of Reason?!?”

n Today’s Platform Position – Motorcycles: Loud Pipes Save Lives. If we are elected, no self-respecting motorcycle will ever sneak up behind you again.

With the state’s Republicans increasingly in an “Oh, I couldn’t possibly run for Senate” frenzy, it’s starting to look more and more like the highest-profile Republican to seek Ben “I don’t want a pickle/I just wanna ride on my motorcycle” Campbell is, uh, Bob Schaeffer.

But alas, do not despair. Sport will be made of this otherwise desperate situation.

Schaeffer, whose name is far more difficult to spell than “Wyrick,” is the former congressman from the northeast corner of Colorado, a district well known for sending its right-wing dingbats to Washington, so they wouldn’t have to put up with them at home. While not as bull-goose loony as Marilyn Musgrave, the current occupant of that particular House seat, Schaeffer is close, making even Tom “I said get your tail back across the border!” Tancredo look like a raving moderate.

The great thing about a political vacuum is that you never know what it’s going to suck in. Which is where our own Randy Wyrick now stands, poised to assume the mantle of leadership.

Wyrick, who is, technically, a Republican, has his Western Slope bona fides in place, since he’s a native by marriage, and has at least once groused about Front Range water grabbers.

So, while every Republican you’ve ever heard of is running away from a fight with Democratic Attorney General Ken Salazar like … well, like a bunch of little ‘fraidy cats, our own Titan of Town Talk is firm and resolute. He’s running for Senate. Now we’ll see if anyone notices. Remember, at four days he’s already been in four times longer than Mark Udall.

By the way, tomorrow’s campaign slogan is: “Brother, can you spare $10 million?”

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