To balance your life, you must first balance your soul |

To balance your life, you must first balance your soul

Catherine ZeebVail CO, Colorado
Columnist Cathy Zeeb

EAGLE COUNTY, Colorado I was asked to write about balance. The question was this: My wife complains that Im always too busy with work and play to give her attention. How can I learn to balance my life so I can make her feel special?We are all so busy these days. It seems like theres not enough time for everything we need to do. We forget to balance our priorities. Our relationships are one of those priorities as well as work and play. Balance is one of our most important lessons in life. Stop for a moment and think about which areas of your life are not working. When our lives are out of balance, everything and everyone suffers. This means that parts of your life are not getting your presence and your full attention. We are in balance when things in our day and our life are getting the best we can give them and when we are present in the moment with everyone and everything. Instead of flailing through life, being dragged from one thing to the next, from one moment to the next, stop long enough to be present. Take a look within and around you. Are the people and activities around you getting the best you can give them? We were not taught to balance our lives in school. Likewise, many of our parents didnt teach us to balance our lives because most of them dont know how to do it for themselves. Relationships are one area where imbalance shows up. One partner always seems to want more of the other person. They want the other person to do things differently or be different. Balance can be communication about what is needed. Instead of making assumptions and demands, communication can help.To balance your life you have to participate. You have to make choices about where you focus your energy. If you spend every night after work at the bar and your wife or husband gets upset, is there balance? If you spend every night after work at the bar and miss too much work the next day, is there balance? If you eat too many sweets, is there balance? If you always work and never make it to your childrens events, is there balance? If you watch so much television that you dont get up and live, is there balance?Our souls really do like balance. Suffering occurs when were out of balance. Life seems to be confusing, disjointed, demanding, disorganized or sad when were out of balance. It can feel like everyones out to get you or that they want too much from you and you just cant do it all. It isnt that they are particularly demanding as much as you may need to take a step back and take a look at what areas of life are not getting attention.Heres a few things you can do: Slow down: Life is too short.Manage your time: Thinking you can (or have to) do everything can cause stress. Likewise, putting off what you have to do also causes stress.Share the load: Get your partner and other family members to help with some of the responsibilities.Let things go: Decide whats truly important, and let the rest go.Simplify: Learn to say no, and dont take on too much responsibility.Set priorities: Write them down, and schedule time for each one.When the pressure to make everyone happy is too much, stop long enough to examine what you can let go of or where you can ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Think balance, think about taking care of yourself, and think about taking care of those you love. Stop and set priorities. Balance your soul, and your life will follow.Catherine Zeeb holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in metaphysics. She has a private therapy practice in Edwards and teaches metaphysics at Colorado Mountain College in Edwards. You can visit her Web site at

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