Torque to the hand … |

Torque to the hand …

Randy Wyrick and His Kobe Bryant-ville Boogie Band
Special to the DailyWhat a great "big sis" we have. Happy 15th birthday, Britney. We love you, Cameron, Cody, Mom and Dad.

Randy Wyrick, our own Town Talk Titan and local Senate candidate, is pressing the flesh ” but not in an actionable way ” among the national press gathered in Eagle this week, wasting away in Kobe Bryant-ville.

Wyrick reports his Senate candidacy is well-received among the media jackals (who, like John Kerry’s foreign leaders, will remain unnamed), except for one thing: Some of the effete Eastern liberals among the media cabal were unclear on the concept of “torque and recoil” the two loudest planks of Wyrick’s campaign.

Let us make one thing perfectly clear: If It Has Torque, Recoil, Compression, Makes a Big Bang or Shoots a Big Bullet, It’s Cool and America Needs More of It.

So, for those whose personal experience in the urban wasteland has left them uneducated on this important matter, here’s an example.

Let’s say an effete Easterner insults a truck belonging to a true-blue American resident of our own Western Slope. As the Westerner winds up and delivers a taste-removing smack upside the head of our effete friend, the force of the punch is torque. The motion of the effete Easterner’s head snapping back due to the force of the aforementioned wallop is recoil.

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Wyrick for Senate: Let Freedom Rip

Dance, Dance, Dance

Eagle Valley High School has dance team tryouts for the 2004-05 school year. It’s 4 p.m. Wednesday. Registration and warm-up is 4 p.m., practice for the team dance is at 5 p.m., then closed tryouts are 6 p.m. Girls will be judged on the team dance, technique and an individual 30 second dance. Girls must be prepared with an individual 30 second dance and bring music (cassette or CD). For more information, call Dave Scott at 328-8960.

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