Just in time for the holidaze, this crosses our desk. Apparently the retail competition for your disposable income is more fierce than we thought. And in the “it-ain’t-what-you’ve got-it’s-how-you-show-it-people” department, those perception oriented people at Park Meadows mall in Denver have decided to recast themselves as Park Meadows Retail Resort. There’s nothing really new about Park Meadows, except the competition from the new Colorado Mills mall. Park Meadows is only resort-like in the heart palpitations you’ll suffer carrying around bags of stuff you don’t need, will never use, and your relatives don’t want either.
The Titans of Town Talk would like to be real clear on our predispositions in this matter.
We hate shopping. We hate shopping malls. We hate “em more than we hate cats, which is considerable. Malls are the brick and mortar face of everything that’s evil in American society – mostly the disease affluenza compounded by fatty food-like substances. Their only redeeming value is that they’re easy to spot, and therefore easy to avoid, and that the epicenter of evil is all contained. No self-respecting Real American Guy would voluntarily walk into a shopping mall, without being led in there by his personal Reason for Living. Real Guys will suffer almost anything to impress their personal Reasons for Living, even being reluctantly dragged into a shopping mall – which, as we have scientifically established is the edifice of evil.
But for True Love, Real Guys will gird ourselves in sissy-resistent armor and plunge into the abyss.
Just don’t expect a straight answer to entrapment questions, such as, “Does this make me look fat?”
Keys to your heart
If you left a set of keys at Vail Valley Ace Hardware in Vail about a week ago, they still have them. If they’re yours call 476-8282, and describe them.
Holiday Spirit concert
The ninth annual winter concert, “Holiday Spirit,” by the Eagle Valley Children’s Chorale is set for 4 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 7 at the Eagle Valley
High School auditorium in Gypsum. It’s free. The Chorale, under the direction of Liane Gulizia, is kids from 1st through 7th grades, representing 12 area schools. A recently recorded holiday CD will be available for sale at the concert at $12 each. Call 926-0577 or 926-2228.
Snowboard coaches needed
The Buddy Werner League needs a few more snowboard coaches, and they need them in the extremely near future. You get to hang out with great kids almost every Saturday. Tom Atkinson is the Buddy Werner League Leader. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
See VMS, Be VMS
Vail Mountain School is hosting a meeting in which you’ll learn everything about VMS. It’s 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 4, at Vail Mountain School. Call the admission office at 970-476-3850 to make a reservation.
Wine and dine on the wild side. Idea Wild raises money to buy gear for biologists who are working to maintain the planet’s biodiversity. It’s great work, and we just have one planet. Be part of it. Dec. 6 at Vail’s Savory Inn, they’re hosting “Wine and Dine on the Wild Side.” The evening’s exotic fanfare features live animals, costumed servers, a silent auction, a red snapper entree, and stunning paintings by international wildlife artist D. Arthur Wilson. For reservations, call 331-9824.