Good morning, and welcome to Town Talk, the world’s only daily column that handles mild, but frequent profanity this way ” (bleep).
Now, serial profanity is common in newsrooms everywhere, but what brought about this particular spasm of four-letter expletives was Friday’s weather in Eagle-Vail. For a few, brief, what-the-(bleep) moments, something fell from the sky we couldn’t easily identify.
The good news is it wasn’t biblical in nature, so it wasn’t fire, toads, fire-breathing marmots or anything like that. It was white, but it wasn’t snow. It was firm, but it wasn’t hail, and our East Coasters were pretty sure it wasn’t sleet. Hence, we had numerous instances of people saying “What the (bleep) is that (bleep)?”
Now, an old mountain hand like Vail Daily contributor Allen Best could have identified the falling white crud in a second, and it probably would have had some sort of charming name coined by hearty mountain-dwellers long ago. But he wasn’t around, so we were left confounded and swearing.
We’re pretty bereft of ideas, so we’re turning to you, dear readers, to ease both our confusion and, at least momentarily, clean up our language.
What do you call that white junk that falls from the sky that isn’t snow, isn’t hail and probably isn’t sleet? E-mail your answers to email@example.com, and we’ll publish the results, as long as they aren’t too (bleep)-filled to print. We can probably find a T-shirt or mouse pad to give away if we get a particularly gripping answer.