We promise horsepower
From the torque and recoil platform plank of the “Wyrick: The Voice of Reason?!?” Senate campaign.
The campaign had to take a couple days off during the weekend to go out and play – an American’s right and responsibility.
As we were admiring America, we were struck by a thought (it didn’t hurt much).
We need more people like the guys at Daimler-Chrysler who built a motorcycle out of a Dodge Viper engine a couple of years ago. The guys running this company are mostly German these days, and it only took them about 20 minutes in this Great Country to be absorbed into the True Spirit of America – truly understand what Makes America Great.
Which is torque and recoil.
Making a motorcycle out of a 500 cubic inch, 500-horsepower, 10-cylinder engine that’s overkill in a Viper is an act of all-American gonzo that we should cherish and encourage as often as possible.
That’s why we propose The National Endowment for the Industrial Arts.
We propose the following change to the National Endowment for the Arts: Changing the name to the National Endowment for the Industrial Arts. Forget about “art” that abuses the mainstream with the excretions of animals and other nonsense.
The new, improved, NEIA would provide grants for things such as motorized barstools, ultralight airplanes made from riding lawn mowers and, of course, just about anything involving the use of a Dodge Viper engine. A really fast riding lawn mower comes immediately to mind.
Any proposal involving the improved application of the internal combustion engine, or replacing the internal combustion engine with something faster, automatically gets a check.
When it comes to innovative ways to use a Dodge Viper engine, the only thing that won’t get you a government grant is slowing it down.
Recognizing a stroke
The short answer: If it looks like Michael Cacioppo addressing the county commissioners, or participants on a cable TV political shriek show, it’s a stroke.
The longer version is actually useful information:
Three questions to determine if it’s a stroke.
n Ask the individual to smile.
n Ask him or her to raise both arms.
n Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.
If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 911 immediately. After discovering that a group of nonmedical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association. They say widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
In the case of our Senate campaign, it may be too late.
Hit the Slopes for Youth
A scavenger hunt on Vail mountain to benefit the award winning youth adventure education programs of Meet The Wilderness. Give a $35 donation to MTW and you will get: 1. Entry to the hunt; 2. A free lift ticket from Vail resorts; 3. Free food, music and thousands of $ in prizes at the apres ski party at the Lion Square Lodge!! Event volunteers receive full participation in the activities. An all ages event, but space is limited – Pre register or sign up to volunteer by calling 926-9376 – Check in at the base of the Lionshead gondola from 8-10 a.m. on March 27.