Size matters, or The Flag Pole Empowerment ActThe Torque and Recoil Campaign returns to defend our inalienable right to be bigWe suggest a rowboat to France for those who just can’t seem to control their screeching about the Wal-Pole, Avon’s obvious salute to All Things American, especially capitalism. The Torque and Recoil Campaign loves capitalism, and strives to engage in more of it. The directions, “Turn right at the giant flag,” could not be more appropriate for all True Americans.
For those freedom-hatin’ liberals who spew and opine that the flag is too big, The Titans of Town Talk would remind you that this is America – the country that invented rock ‘n’ roll, the V-8 engine,super sizing, the drive-thru window, and understands that they’re all related – there’s no such thing as “too big.”While we steadfastly defend an American’s right to complain about the flagpole, or better yet to mock it unmercifully, we’re disappointed in their invective’s lack of creativity. Forget the scattershot moaning, and ask a more specific question, such as:”If the flag is raised before the 30-day Ronald Reagan mourning period is over, and only goes to half mast, will it eventually need flagpole viagra to go up the rest of the way?”But before you start rowing up the Seine, remember they have a big metal tower over there, too, and their weeping and wailing about the Eiffel Tower sounded suspiciously like the weeping and wailing about Magnus’s Purple Patriot Pole. Magnus offered us free hot dogs at noon Saturday, and we intend to eat an American’s share.
“hold these truths to be self-evident, that all menare created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator withcertain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Libertyand the pursuit of Happiness.”
Throughout history, the burden of keeping the flame of libertybright has fallen on the shoulders of a few men and women.As Founding Patriot Samuel Adams noted, “It does not take amajority to prevail … but rather an irate, tireless minority,keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men.”
Wolves were a problem for ranchers when Kip Gates’ great-great-grandfather homesteaded in the area. He doesn’t want the problem to return.