Town Talk |

Town Talk

Randy Wyrick

The Battle Mountain High School Football Team would like to thank Gordon Doting and Jim Marsh of D&M Builders for graciously donating their time to install new windows in the press box. We would also like to thank The Home Depot in Grand Junction for donating the windows. Tonight the Huskies host cross-county rival Eagle Valley High School in the season opener for both teams.Pioneer people are our heroesA few weeks back we put out a call for tales, legends, pictures truth and fiction for a bunch of stuff we’re doing for Vail Pioneer Weekend. First, we’d love to say we love you, and thanks, and that the effects of men skiing naked are underwhelming – if you know what we mean and we think you do.We’d also like to beg that your stuff keeps coming. We’re looking for anything on which the statute of limitations has expired.Bill O’Connell, Jim and Daphne Slevin and Pepi Langegger were all in here today, regaling us with Stories That Could Be True.Among the people we’re still looking for are Packy “Of No Name Fame” Walker, Paul “I Swear It Wasn’t My Horse That Was Ridden Into That Bar” Testwuide, and anyone else with a tale to tell.Call us at 949-0555, ext. 615, or e-mail the stuff we’ve learned so far is that we have more people who own restaurants and hotels per capita named Pepi than anywhere else in the universe – which is to our great good fortune.These pioneers, by the way, remember when there was free beer in Vail Village.Weapons of mass destructionApparently, the U.S. is trying to figure out a way to eliminate Iraq from anyone’s reality check, because Saddam Insane is supposed to be acquiring weapons of mass destruction. We pointed this out to our buddy Scott “I’m Not Steve Unless You Owe Him A Hundred Bucks” Miller. We also pointed out that we, as in The United States (The Good Guys) have weapons of mass destruction and no one’s bombing us. Scott, of course, pointed out that that’s because we have weapons of mass destruction and they wouldn’t dare. It was a moment enlightening enough to make The Titans of Town Talk break out in song to that classic Randy Newman tune, “They All Hate Us Anyhow, Let’s Drop The Big One Now.”Paging LucilleJust yesterday, we had a Homer Simpson moment when someone named Lucille called about getting something into this very space for the Saturday Vaily Daily. We zapped the message through a black hole before we could get the phone number. Call us back at 949-0555, ext. 615, or just send the stuff to duckyBefore you make any other plans for Labor Day weekend, mark the Rotary Rubber Duck Race on your calendar in red ink. It’s Sunday in Vail Village. Cool stuff to do starts at noon, and the race starts at 3 p.m. Ducks are $5 each.Dear baseball, get outIt’s Drop Dead Day for major league baseball, and we’d like to offer our services to hold the door as the crybaby players and bedwetter owners head toward their self-inflicted doom.We’re on the side of the vast majority of True Americans who wish everyone associated with major league baseball’s owners and players would rest in peace, and soon. To the regular baseball people who actually work for a living, we hope you quickly find other employment that does not require you to say, “Would you like fries with that?”Kokes Family Reunion RulesThe Kokes family reunion was here the week of Aug. 11. Those attending included Mike and Cathy Kokes of New Jersey and Florida; Jerry and Carol Kokes of Eagle-Vail; Jan, Holly and Michael Kokes of New Jersey and Florida; Lynda and Jerome Kokes of New Jersey and Florida; Linda and Johnny Element of Edwards; Alex, Kim, Jonathan and Colton Kokes of California; Stephanie, Michael and Tanner Billingsley of Edwards; Dana, Jeff Jecqueline, Isabella and Jeffrey Mead of New Jersey; Andrew, Elaine, Sasa and Andrew II Kokes of Arizona; and Danielle Kokes of Massachusetts. Unable to attend were Ivan and Phyllis Kokes of Florida; Gregory, Veronica and Gabriella Kokes of New Jersey.

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