Remember that snowy couple of weeks we had a while back? It was then that the communting arm of the Interim Titans of Town Talk, LLC had a revelation:
Four wheel drive makes people stupid.
Nearly every day of the snowy spell, our commuters noticed at least one vehicle per day off the road. With one exception, every one was some sort of four wheel drive contraption.
In one case, a young man spun into the median on the section of I-70 Town Talk Towers overlooks, got out, and looked at his predicament with an expression that can only be defined as “wha’ happened?”
What happened was a combination of friction and physics, basic forces four wheel drive allows people to ignore until it’s way too late.
We note with some degree of smug satisfaction that nature’s laws are only too obvious to those of us with fewer driving wheels. That awareness, it seems, keeps us out of the ditch.
The two-wheel-driven among us also get to participate in time-honored traditions of subtlety and grace rather than brute force and awkwardness. We revel in the smell of nicely toasted clutch plates or simmering transmission fluid as we gently rock back and forth on the ice. We rely on both prayer and profanity to get around.
We are, in short, Old School, a link to a time when front-engine, rear-drive cars roamed America, and extra traction came from some sand or scrap iron in the trunk. If the weather was too cruddy or the roads too icy, we stayed home and played Scrabble.
Today, front-wheel-drive gives those of us in two-wheel-drive land plenty of traction to get around. Vehicles with lower centers of gravity are less likely to spin, or, God forbid, roll.
So, when the roads get snowpacked and icy, we putter in the right lane. And you know what?
We stay on the road, and get where we’re going.
From time to time, the good folks at the U.S. Postal Service will talk about “cluster boxes.” We’re pretty sure they’re not talking about this.
A gentleman called the other day to tell us his Avon post office box has apparently been assigned to two other people (why do we only hear these stories out of Avon?).
Anyway, he asked for our help in contacting the two other people who now have P.O. Box 8614 to go back to the post office and get new boxes.
Consider yourselves contacted.
Local practitioners of Falun Gong, a Chinese spiritual movement based on Buddhist and Taoist teachings, will hold a free workshop at the Avon Library on Sunday, Jan. 23, from 2-4 p.m. For more information, call Leejun, 949-6547.