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Town Talk

Randy Wyrick and his buddies

Howdy and welcome to Town Talk, the column that asserts 7 percent of all statistics are made Howdy and welcome to Town Talk, the column that asserts 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

In yesterday’s Tips Line a couple Vaily Dailian Aliens were accused of talking smack on local hardware stores during a radio appearance.

Not true.

We don’t know what friend-of-a-friend you heard this from, but that’s no friend of yours.

We do a regular Wednesday morning gig on KZYR, in which pearls of wisdom are pitched about the studio to see who smacks them with an intellectual Louisville Slugger. The Home Depot opening, the social event of the season, was brought up and ideas were floated as to possible uses for the garden center, once it gets too cold to garden, which, in our opinion, is all the time.

Granted, some bonehead mentioned “Denver” and “housewares” in the same sentence. It was NOT us, and the perpetrator was flogged on the spot.

Your Titans of Town Talk love our local retailers and hardware stores. We’re in hardware heaven when we start dealing with power tools.

We love our local hardware heroes, and would never disparage them.

So there.

Scramble for breakfast

Grab breakfast tomorrow at Fiesta’s at the Vail Valley Chamber and Tourism Bureau’s Breakfast Scrambler. It runs from 8-9:30 a.m. Talk about your business, bring collateral material and network with potential bidness partners. It’s $15. RSVP to 748-0306 by today.

Get literate, help others

The Literacy Project is looking for volunteers to help with both adults and middle school students. The Literacy Project is a free tutoring program and requires volunteers to meet with their student two hours each week. Call 949-5026 and ask for Sloan.

Discover Theater

Vail Performing Arts Academy is taking enrollment for its Discover Theater Mini Camp for children ages 5-10 years old.

the four-day sessions run throughout June and cost $125 per kid. Students will explore creative movement, acting, and improvisation and a mini production will be presented for friends and family on the last Friday of each session. Call 970-524-1478.

Dead ringer

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a “bone-house” and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered a “dead ringer.” And that’s the truth.

Here endeth the lesson for today.


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