Town Talk for May 19, 2003
Lions spaghetti dinnerTwice a year the Lions Club in Eagle feeds everyone who shows up. Tuesday’s the night. It’s a spaghetti dinner and silent auction. It’s 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Eagle Valley Elementary School. Tickets are $6 for adults, $4 for children and $18 for the entire family. The Lions do all kinds of good stuff for all kinds of people. You can help. Go there. Eat bunches. Write checks. Tickets purchased in advance are elegible for a $25 door prize.Help a neighborGypsum resident Tina Elden, 42, died unexpectedly recently, leaving behind her husband, Michael, and two children.Individuals who wish to contribute to the Elden family may make a tax-deductible donation to the Vail Valley Charitable Fund, P.O. Box 3861, Eagle, Colo. 81631. Please write “Elden Family” in the memo field of the check. Funds collected will be directed to the family.A Q&A for the rest of usQ: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is thistrue?A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it …don’twaste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up yourheart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend thelife of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay andcorn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended dailyallowance of vegetable products.Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As weall know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories:animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are notanimal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that onlyleaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoyyour liquid vegetables.Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one toone. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exerciseprogram?A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good.Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. Infact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be badfor you?Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?A: Thicker gravy.Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You shouldonly be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.Q: Is chocolate bad for me?A: Are you crazy? HELLO ….. Cocoa beans … another vegetable!!! It’s thebest feel good food around!Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have hadabout food and diets. Have a cookie… flour is a veggie!
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