Town Talk for Nov. 18, 2002 |

Town Talk for Nov. 18, 2002

The Eagle County commissioners will hold a public hearing on the proposed 2003 budget on Tuesday, Nov. 19. The hearing, scheduled to start at 1:30 p.m. in the Eagle County meeting room, includes a brief summary of the budget followed by public comment. Information about the proposed budget is available on the Eagle County web at The Eagle County meeting room is located on the 3rd floor of the Eagle County Building, 500 Broadway, in Eagle.

Toys for Tots needs you

Christmas in the Eagle River Valley is a difficult time for many families. Please help out by donating a $10 toy, game or appropriate gift for a child or teen. Cash donations are deposited in a Toys for Tots Toy Fund. Local businesses and organizations are encouraged to involve employees by asking for donations at company parties. You can drop off donations at City Market, Safeway, Columbine Market, the Eagle Pharmacy, all local banks, or any emergency service agency. Toys for Tots and the Salvation Army will make certain that deserving youth in the valley will receive your gifts. For details or more information, call the Salvation Army, any emergency service agency, or Toys for Tots chairman, Nick Frenze at 524-7705.

God loves a Harley

The Eagle Valley Christian Academy (EVCA) is providing academic excellence for pre-K through 8th grade, and now wants to help provide automotive excellence. That’s why they’re conducting a raffling off a Harley-Davidson motorcycle FXSTC Softail Custom in creampuff condition ($17,000 value). Second prize is a vacation package at Big Horn Resort in Wyoming ($1,000 value), and third prize is for a custom piece of Alpine Gold Jewelry, Beaver Creek ($450 value). Tickets are being sold at the school on Highway 6 in Eagle-Vail (Vail Bible Church), the Minturn Market and various other venues. You can also get tickets by mailing a check or money order to EVCA, PO Box 1980, Avon, CO 81620.

Ticket prices are $30 for one or $150 for a six-pack. The drawing will be

held at the school on Dec. 21 at 7:30 p.m.

Reservation sales training

Tuesday is the Vail Valley Chamber and Tourism Bureau’s Reservation Sales Training Seminar. It’s for sales associates from lodges throughout the valley, and it runs from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Evergreen Lodge. The discussion will focus on how to convert inquiry calls into sales, maximize rates and market your facilities and services. It costs $110 per person for VVCTB members and $125 for non-members, lunch is included. Trade out opportunities are available. Call Katie Barnes at 477-4014 or

Paddy goes to war!

Osama bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering what country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

“Hallo, Mr. Laden,” a heavily accented voice said. “Tis Paddy, down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you.”

“Well, Paddy,” Osama replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”

“Right now,” said Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “tis meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”

Osama paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”

“Begorra!” said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back!”

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. “Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Osama asked. “Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer and Murphy’s farm tractor.”

Osama sighed, “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1.5 million since we last spoke.”

“Saints preserve us!” said Paddy, “I’ll have to get back to you.”

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. “Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Harrigan’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!”

Osama was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat, “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back.”

Sure enough Paddy called again the next day, “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr.Laden! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Osama, “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well,” said Paddy, “We’ve all had a long chat over a feed of pints, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”

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