Vail Daily column: Reality meets real life
Seventy-two days. Are you kidding me?Kim Kardashian filed for divorce this week 72 days after her $10 million, internationally televised spectacle of a wedding to NBA player Chris Humphries. Are you serious?Is this where I get to fly into a rage about the current state of our society, the impulsiveness of youth, the need for instant gratification, the warped perception of reality TV, the despicable concept of the disposable marriage?The reasonable side of me would say you never know what is going on in someone else’s relationship. You can’t judge someone else’s decisions based on your own morals, values or experiences. You are not living their life. That being said, are you serious? Come on!It’s not even like they wedded quietly, privately, and then didn’t succeed. The wedding was a worldwide media event with commemorative issues of magazines and hours of air time dedicated to it. Did they plan the split all along, timing the events for premium ratings of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” wrapping it all up in time for Humphries to get back to New Jersey for early-season training should that occur this year? Or did they actually give it a go, perhaps jumping in before thinking through all the parts, and the wheels just fell off the bus?Two and a half months, and they’ve reached “irreconcilable differences.” That’s not even enough time to figure out what the differences are, much less reach the point of no return. It’s going to take longer to get divorced than they were actually married.And furthermore, what a tremendous waste. A waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of energy, a waste of resources. In addition to making $17.9 million off her wedding, Kim and Kris didn’t even have to pay for a majority of the wedding expenses. So anxious were vendors to be a part of the publicity melee that nearly everything was donated, including three $20,000 Vera Wang gowns, $400,000 worth of Perrier Jouet Champagne and $10,000 Lehr & Black wedding invitations.I don’t know exactly what the etiquette is, however. Do they need to return the gifts? Is there a cutoff? Ninety days? One year? And do you think they even finished the thank-you notes? Knowing the Postal Service, the cards probably haven’t reached the wedding guests yet if they did.Here’s the thing I found most ironic. When Kim and Kris and the horde of paparazzi and the “Keeping Up” production team were strolling through Beverly Hills registering for gifts, the faux wedding date on the registries was Oct. 31. Was she predicting the end of her marriage before it even began?Regardless of whether they entered into this with full faith or just as a publicity stunt, they are making a mockery of the sanctity of marriage. You might think as a divorced person, I have no leg to stand on in the realm of talking about marriage, having ended mine after 13 years. But I respect marriage. I admire those who can make it, who can endure and last. It’s clearly something I wasn’t capable of doing. But at least I made it past 72 days!In an effort to put the length of their marriage into perspective, imagine what you can do in 10 weeks.Ten weeks is the length of summer in the Vail Valley. You can train for a 10K, going from walker to racer. You can lose 10 to 20 pounds, heal a broken bone, travel around the world, train a puppy. You can learn to knit, to cook, to snowboard. You can grow tomato plants from seeds and, if you’re me, already have killed them in 10 weeks. I guess the Kardashian-Humphries union was just like a tomato seedling in my care. Dead in the ground in 72 days. What an awesome role model Kim Kardashian is. Linda Stamper Boyne, of Edwards, can be contacted through email@example.com.