Vail Daily columnist Richard Carnes: Bigger things to worry about |

Vail Daily columnist Richard Carnes: Bigger things to worry about

So a tiny little Chinese lap dog with a manhood insecurity large enough to demand a nuclear-tipped “missile” extension screams like the kid in the shopping cart for more candy and we’re supposed to be worried?

America is expected to jump out of the Afghan frying pan straight into the North Korean flame of flatulence while we cower in our bomb shelters and the rest of the sane world pretends this is OK?

Excuse me, but, um, no.

Kim Jong-un is not Darth Vader or even a vertically challenged Jabba the Hut with his blood-curdling screams for relevance not unlike the fat baby on an airplane. He’s more like a rebellious Ewok overcome with pretend grief about his dead father and anxiety over his lack of height in a tall man’s world.

This is childish saber rattling with no more actual threat to the United States than if Powderhorn threatened to start selling their own version of the Epic Pass unless Vail Resorts capitulated to their demands of revenue sharing.

It’s just silly.

Then again, I could be wrong.

We are indeed – us Americans – portrayed globally as a pretty stupid bunch from time to time.

A quick search of headlines on the Drudge Report shows that some apparently are obsessed with how many baskets Obama can make during a basketball-themed fundraiser with disabled kids and the calorie count of Michelle’s lunch with homeless veterans. Maybe it’s just me, but that does not seem very important or relevant to anything. Anything at all.

Recently a survey of Americans was conducted by Public Policy Polling that found almost one in four believe President Obama “might” be the antichrist (whatever that means), one in three believe that all climate change scenarios are fabricated, and almost half believe that a bunch of super-rich guys are hell-bent on setting up a new world order to control the world and maintain their evil capitalist ways.

Apparently they polled 2,500 idiots from the (get ready, here comes the stereotype) Deep South on a Sunday without football.

For further proof, while Lil’ Kim is screaming for attention in North Korea, students at Wilcox County High School near Macon, Ga., still have segregated proms (one for whites and the other for “others”) and two elected GOP geniuses in North Carolina proposed a bill (sponsored by seven “others,” but let’s take a wild guess as to their skin color) to allow them to establish a state religion.

One can only assume it would be Islam.

To be perfectly honest, these morons concern me much more than North Korea’s version of Eric Cartman (from South Park, for the uninitiated).

But still, what if the little runt’s not bluffing this time? If China wants peace and prosperity in their general vicinity, then I say they should be the main government dealing with it, not us. It’s their border, not ours.

We have a $17 trillion debt and enough problems of our own to even consider such a foolhardy act of another war. We’ve sent our ships and planes into the region just in case, postponed missile tests that could be misconstrued as provocation, and besides, we have no desire to bomb a starving people. But however this plays out with their missile “test” tomorrow, I just hope the American response doesn’t come from the 175 idiots (7 percent) from those polled who believe the moon landing was faked.

I’m getting really, really tired of these people.

Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at

Support Local Journalism