Vail Daily columnist Richard Carnes: Thankful to be part of this 1 percent
With 7 billion beating hearts roaming the planet, that means America’s 300 million-plus account for roughly 4 percent of the total.
One-third of those are not adults, and at least half of the remaining are so wrapped up in themselves they ignore the world around them or waste most of their time blaming others for their problems, leaving around 1 percent of the world’s total as relatively happy, life-is-pretty-darn-good Americans.
Continuing along this line, around 1 percent of those are adults living in the glorisus state of Colorado, and about 1 percent of those are lucky enough to call Happy Valley home.
Ain’t it great to be a 1 percent’r? And all this time you thought you were in the 99 percent.
Anyway, the longer I live here, raising my family, trying to be a good husband and father, observing and commenting upon the vast changes as they occur from week to week, the more reasons I personally find to be thankful.
So for the 12th year in a row, here’s my list for Thanksgiving — the Diet Coke of holidays — as I, Richard Carnes, am thankful for:
n 99 percent of coaches not implementing the Sandusky method of “coaching from behind.”
n Tim Tebow’s uncanny ability to win in spite of an amazing lack of skills.
n My open-mindedness about Tebow, as he can thank Allah or the Flying Spaghetti Monster for all I care, as long as he keeps winning (at which point, when the winning stops, I will most certainly remind everyone of the absurdities therein).
n Not belonging to any political party.
n The GOP wasting so much time fighting over who would tax less and who’s been friends with Jesus longer.
n The Democrats wasting so much time fighting over who would tax the rich more and who’s befriended the poor longer.
n Congress making the all-important decision that pizza is a vegetable, thus instantly making me a better father.
n This one qualifies as a “hopeful,” as I hope the silly-named Super Committee in D.C. actually accomplished something yesterday (Monday) other than announcing the creation of a Super-Duper committee.
n Our Wall Street only being occupied by retail shops and Vendetta’s patio.
n The real occupation of Bridge Street beginning tomorrow.
n Most schoolchildren in Happy Valley being taught science in a science class to expand their knowledge, as opposed to “evidence optional” gobbledygook that breeds nothing but ignorance.
n My evidence for reality requiring no filter.
n Glenn Beck fading into oblivion.
n Paris Hilton no longer being newsworthy.
n The Vail Performing Art Academy and the self-confidence they’ve helped instill in my youngest.
n There always being positives to consider upon reaching negative expectations.
n Those who understand that last sentence.
Lastly, the three things I am most thankful for are my family, my health and my … my, um … wait a minute, it’s on the tip of my keyboard … Oh, to hell with it, or to quote Rick Perry, “Oops.”
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.