Vail Daily columnist Richard Carnes: Time for the Democrats to get serious |

Vail Daily columnist Richard Carnes: Time for the Democrats to get serious

While in a recent conservative mode (I believe a tax deadline had something to do with the state of mind), I wrote a column saying the only possibility for the GOP to take back the White House is to quickly get behind Mitt Romney all the way, no fudging or hemming and hawing around, just quit complaining about all the Romney attributes you dislike and support the guy, 100 flippin’ percent.

I concluded that this is the only way he stands any chance at all of winning next November.

But being in possession of an open mind toward any and all fact-based reality scenarios, a temporary nonconservative mode (mine has an on-off switch depending on the issue at hand) caused me to consider what President Obama needs to do to guarantee another four years of torturing and tormenting well-to-do white men and the loyal minions who do their actual bidding (the less educated, NRA-lovin’, Hey Zues-prayin’, beer-drinkin’ types who like to yell racial epitaphs at sporting events and troll Internet comment sites for fun).

I quickly reached the following conclusion: At this point in time, what the man needs to do is absolutely nothing.

If the election were held today, according to all the polls that certain folks insist mean either everything or nothing at all (depending on whether a particular poll tells them what they wish to hear), Obama would win hands down.

It wouldn’t even be a contest.

I also realize that just by reading those words, some of you in Happy Valley breathed a sigh of relief, while others are having to go grab a towel to wipe up all the fresh vomit currently covering your Daily newspaper.

However, the next 203 days are yet to be written in history books, and any number of nasty little critters can rear their nasty little heads at any moment, changing the possible outcome faster than Secret Service members can pay off nasty little jilted prostitutes in Columbia.

Iran could suddenly attack Israel.

Israel could suddenly attack Iran (or at least a few “secret” missile silos).

North Korea could launch a warhead-tipped missile that actually goes farther than from here to Eagle.

Given the mentality of American hawks, none of the above would bode well for our current commander-in-chief.

And like flat-earthers and 9/11 conspiracy theorists, the president still has to deal with the fringe fruitcakes affectionately known as “birthers.”

Not only are their silly stories growing exponentially with time and each forwarded email, when repeated enough to the right people with the wrong mindset, they evolve into a twisted truth of sorts to be believed in perpetuity regardless of easily verifiable facts proving the contrary.

I don’t think they can truly affect the election, but they can certainly cause trouble in more ways than one.

And then once again proving that the disease of ignorance is not limited to one political party, the president has to deal with the Hilary Rosens of the world. She was the “Democratic strategist” publicity genius who publicly declared Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life,” setting off a firestorm of embarrassing gender-based controversy for the Obama administration to deal with even though they had not uttered a single word.

Side note: you can rearrange the term “Democratic strategist” to spell “A strategic Mitt scored!” Go figure.

Anyway, Mr. President also needs to watch out for Romney’s running mate, as a woman or especially an African-American woman could prove to be a deal-killer for the Dems, as well.

But either way, we’re not exactly known for our deep thinking of late (the last dozen years have been pretty damn shallow). So at this point I have no earthly idea how this will pan out for either party or, much more importantly, the American people.

I just know 203 days is about 204 too many.

Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at

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