Vail Daily letter: Please Mr. Obama
August 24, 2010
Let us apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past and present. You know – Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein and the rest of those “good old boys.” We will never “interfere” again.
Let us withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, Japan and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We can station our troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking in. Let us make a strong effort to become energy self-sufficient. This will include developing renewable energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need.
Besides, most of what we give them is stolen. The people who need it most get very little if anything.
Let us ship the U.N. headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
Let us have all Americans go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “ugly Americans.” The language we speak is English. Learn it or leave.
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The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat, and she’s yelling, “You want a piece of me?” God bless America!