Vail on purpose: Step outside your comfort zone
Vail, CO Colorado
VAIL, Colorado “-In our first coaching session, Evan introduced himself and explained why he was interested in life coaching. “I’m completely bored. My life feels blander than vanilla ice cream.”
He added, “I like the work I do, but it’s the same thing, day in and day out. I could do it with my eyes closed. There is plenty to do, but it’s boring.”
Evan had been an accountant for eight years, was dating, but not in a relationship because the women he met were “boring.”
When the word, “boring,” came out of his mouth a third time, I asked, “What in your life is not boring?”
Evan stopped to think. He smiled. “Everything feels boring. That’s why I’m here. I’m bored and I don’t know how to liven things up.”
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“What’s the dream?” I asked.
“I haven’t thought about my dream for a long time,” he said.
“What did you dream about when you were young? What did you want to be when you grew up?” I asked.
He thought for a moment and then got a sheepish look on his face.
“When I was young, I wanted to be a veterinarian,” he smiled, looking embarrassed. “This is going to sound stupid, but I also wanted to be a musician.”
I tested the water. “Which of those two dreams feels the juiciest?” I asked.
“Definitely being a musician. We can talk about it, even though I don’t think we’ll get very far,” he said.
“In coaching I listen for what I call the ‘saboteur’ ” the negative voice in your head, your inner critic,” I explained. “The intent of the voice may be to protect you, but it can also keep you stuck. When you said, ‘I don’t think we’ll get very far,’ was that you talking or your Saboteur?'”
“I’m not sure. I just can’t see myself getting up on a stage, making a fool of myself,” Evan said.
“Making a fool of yourself … is that your saboteur talking again?” I asked.
“It’s either my saboteur or common sense. I can’t see myself being an accountant by day and a rock star at night.”
“What makes being a rock star so appealing?” I asked.
Evan’s eyes lit up. “I love music. It speaks to my soul. When I listen to or play music, it energizes me. Being on stage and sharing my love of music sounds invigorating but scary.”
“Step over ‘scary.’ What’s there for you now?” I asked.
“Flow, feeling alive and being more than just a boring accountant,” he said.
“What could you do in your life to help you feel that way and not bored?” I asked.
“I’ve seen a marquee advertising karaoke night. Last week I went to see how it worked. As I imagined getting on stage, part of me wanted to try it out and the other part wanted to run and hide,” Evan explained.
“What if I challenged you to go to karaoke again, put your name on the list and do it,” I said.
Evan took a deep breath. I could feel his apprehension and was surprised when he said, “I’ll do it. It sounds scary, but fun. I haven’t felt this excited and alive in a long time. I think I was just waiting to be pushed a bit.”
Before he left, we talked about his emotions and how it might apply to the rest of his life. I asked him to ponder this question: “Where am I bored and how can I step outside my comfort zone and add some juiciness to these areas?”
He accepted the assignment, but still wouldn’t tell me which night he planned to do his karaoke debut.
Maybe inviting people to his performance will be step for our next coaching session.
What is the dream you hold that you wish someone would gently push you towards? What is the one thing you wish you had the courage to do? How can you challenge yourself to take one courageous step forward? Now is your chance. You will know you picked the right step when it feels challenging, scary, and exhilarating. Now go out and do it!
Sheri Fisher is a Life Coach who lives in Grand Junction, Colorado with her husband Tom and three sons. Her practice, Living On Purpose, focuses on personal and professional coaching. The situations and characters in her column are fictional to maintain client confidentiality. If you have topic suggestions, please e-mail or comment on Sheri’s blog, http://www.coachwithsheri.com/blog/. Sheri can be reached at email@example.com or for more information, visit: http://www.coachwithsheri.com. Watch for her life coaching segment, Taking Charge, on KKCO-NBC11 the first Tuesday of the month during the 5:30 am news.