Vail Perspective: Don’t take anything personally
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”Even if someone insults you directly, it is not about you, it is about them. Taking things personally hooks you into whatever someone is saying or doing. When you take what they say personally you believe it to be true – suddenly making it about you instead of it being about them.People judge and condemn others because of their own insecurities and fears. If this is true, then any judgment they make comes from their place of self-judgment or unworthiness. Other’s opinions and judgments are the way they see the world, it does not have to be about you. If you attach to it, you make it about you. If you let it go, don’t take it personally, you are free.Now, if you know what someone is saying is true, own it. You are free to be who you are and the more you know who you are, the more you will not attach to what others say. As human beings, we support the “agreements” others they live by. For example, if you feel the need to be abuse, you will find people who will abuse you. If you feel that people lie to you, you may notice that you lie to yourself and therefore, bring others to you who will lie. Our agreements may have set us up to suffer and to worry.We, for some reason in our life, made an agreement with ourselves about the way the world treats us. If we look at our agreements, in truth, we recognize where we made agreements and we can change them.Practice not taking anything personally. You will become immune the judgments and fears of others tthat may hold you back from being the best you can be. Not taking things personally frees you from suffering and avoid upsets. Envies, jealousies and anger will disappear as you begin to realize that those emotions are attached to your trusting in what others say or do.Learning to not take things others say and do personally is a challenge. Your ego mind will do its best to convince you that something is important or that you are being attacked. Choose your battles. Find the freedom in letting go of unimportant things.Homework: Write “Don’t Take Anything Personally” on Post It notes and place them around your house, in your car or on your computer. Practice being responsible for you and your actions. All that you give and all that you are comes from within. You can say yes and you can say no without hesitation and without guilt. “Follow your heart always. Then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness. You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all,” writes Ruiz.This series of columns will be dedicated to The Four Agreements. If you, the reader, are interested in participating, apply each new weekly agreement to your daily life. At the end of these four to five weeks, I would love to receive feedback. Let me know if there are any changes by applying these agreements in your daily life.Catherine Zeeb, PhD, CACII is a private therapist in the Vail Valley specializing in Spiritual counseling, addiction counseling and marriage & family counseling. She is also a co-creator of Journeys in Living Spirituality, held on the 1st & 3rd Saturdays of each month at the Avon Library. You can contact Dr. Zeeb at 970-376-6660 or visit her website at http://www.healing-spirits.net.
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