Vail perspective: Laugh, and let go of expectations |

Vail perspective: Laugh, and let go of expectations

Catherine Zeeb
Vail, CO Colorado

VAIL, Colorado –“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Alcoholics Anonymous

We want things the way we want things. We want people to be and act the way we want them to. We believe that our expectations should be met. When things don’t go our way, when people don’t act the way we think they should and when our expectations are not met, we feel disappointed, if not angry.

What are expectations? Are they good to have or are they just exhausting? What if you let go of them? What would happen? Would the world stop turning? Would the people you are trying to control stop living?

We should have expectations only of ourselves. If you want things to be better, you be better. If you want someone to act differently, you act differently. If you have an expectation, speak truth about what it means to you, speak clearly about it and then let go.

An unhealthy expectation is when we expect an event or a person to do and be what we want it to be . When it’s not, we get disappointed or angry. Such expectations lead to frustration, anger, illness, distrust, judgment and so much more.

You can ask things of another person but when you expect the result to be exactly what you want, you will probably be disappointed. Asking someone else to do exactly what you expect is asking them to change. You cannot change another human being. You can ask for what you believe you need and then let it go – let the other person do what they can to help you get your needs met.

You may discover more about your relationships this way. People will either step up and be an active part in helping you get your needs met (as they get theirs met as well) or they won’t.

This is letting go of the expectation of the outcome. Stating what you need or want to someone is very important and is spiritual behavior. Letting go of how you think they should respond is a spiritual response.

Expectations can damage relationships. They can damage your self-esteem and they can damage other’s self-esteem as well.

Forgiveness is the key. Forgive yourself for expecting things that others may not be able to give. Forgive others for what they cannot give. Choose to speak your truth about what you need and have no expectation that anyone has to do what you expect.

Of course, adults need to guide children. We expect them to clean their rooms but we can show they how important it is by cleaning ours first .

Laugh at this life we try so hard to control and of which we have such high expectations. You can’t control it and trying will eventually exhaust you. Create your own life and let others do the same.

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