Vail perspective: Spiritual marriages are stronger |

Vail perspective: Spiritual marriages are stronger

Catherine Zeeb
Vail, CO Colorado

VAIL, Colorado –Marriage as we know it has to change, Vail Valley. The divorce rate says it all.

The basis of a spiritual marriage is a commitment between two people to assist in each other’s spiritual growth. When spiritual partners marry, they begin a journey of souls, not just a journey of a marriage. They realize that their own spiritual development is essential and that they came together for that purpose.

Having a conscious marriage requires each person to learn to view marriage as a new dynamic. The partners realize they are in the marriage to further their spiritual development, not just to create financial security or to buy the perfect house in the suburbs. A spiritual marriage is a commitment to each other’s spiritual growth and everything within the relationship serves that.

Traditional marriage counseling works with the dynamic of the couple. The counselor will make suggestions like “have a date night” or “go away together.” Not bad ideas but if you’re not communicating, what good would a date night be?

Spiritual marriage counseling works with the dynamic of the individual. Each partner may work with the therapist for two to four sessions before coming together as a couple. The marriage is hurting because the individual is hurting, not the marriage itself. The marriage is only as good as the individuals involved in it.

The dynamic of marriage is complicated. People feel an attraction for each other, marriage follows, then children, and more. It’s obviously been done this way for centuries.

Sometimes the marriage lasts, most times it doesn’t. There comes a day when one partner wakes up and realizes they don’t know who they are, let alone who the other person is. Communication is lacking and they become no more than roommates.

Once each person learns why they entered into the relationship, once they learn what they are lacking in themselves, and once they learn new ways of communicating, the relationship can change. It will grow if both people decide that they are worth their own growth.

Pre-marital counseling is essential. It will help each person to take a close look at why they want a relationship to begin with, why they want marriage, and what their expectations are of the other partner and of marriage. If the dynamic of relationships wasb taught to kids, more people might enter relationships with open and clear hearts.

Changing the way we view marriage is so important. If you truly want a spiritual relationship or marriage that will last, here are some things to think about and to work on:

• Know who you are before you enter into any relationship

• Be clear about what you want in a relationship

• Know your boundaries and don’t be afraid to express them

• If the other person doesn’t like that you know who you are or that you have discovered and express your boundaries, then let them go

•-Be clear about what you want in a partner and except nothing less

• If you wouldn’t allow a friend to treat you badly, don’t allow an intimate partner to do it

• Don’t be afraid to do your personal healing work

• Being alone until you’re ready for a spiritual relationship is OK

May your relationships and marriages be filled with laughter, truth and open communication. May you find your best friend and marry them, in absolute clarity of feelings, truth and emotion.

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