Vail Relationships column: The art of self-discovery |

Vail Relationships column: The art of self-discovery

Editor’s note: This is the second part of a two-part series.

Here are questions designed to assist you in getting to know yourself better. I urge you to do this exercise in writing because you’ll forget your answers if you don’t write them down. After you’ve answered a question, challenge yourself to give a second and third answer to the same question, so you wind up writing down as many answers to each question as you can:

• What do you want to change about yourself? What stops you from doing it?

• What have you accomplished in the past five years?

• What are your biggest accomplishments in your life?

• How do you think you come across to other people? How do they see you?

• What do you like about your home or where you live? What about it expresses you?

• If you could talk to your future self of 20 years from now, what would she or he say to you?

• What are you afraid of? What are you afraid will happen?

• What or who do you miss?

• What kind of person makes you feel inadequate or that you don’t measure up?

• How could you enjoy your life more?

• How have your failures turned into lessons or blessings?

• Describe the silver linings in your losses or major life changes.

• Do you think of yourself as lovable? Do you love yourself? What do you think others love about you?

• What do you look forward to?

• If you could advise your child self, what would you tell him or her?

• What thoughts repeat themselves over and over again in your mind? What do you think they say about you? What emotions repetitively occur again and again for you?

• What do you find most challenging in your life?

• When have you been courageous? When have you shown backbone?

• When have you been resilient? How do you get through adversity?

• What are your most important priorities?

• What are you grateful for?

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Westminster and Boulder. He is the author of the best-selling book “Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship.” Contact him at 303-758-8777, or visit

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