Vail Valley perspective: Man’s search for wholeness |

Vail Valley perspective: Man’s search for wholeness

Catherine Zeeb
Vail CO, Colorado
Columnist Cathy Zeeb

VAIL, Colorado ” For as long as most of us can remember, we have been searching for something we could not name. Our search for this thing that we believe will make us feel good, better, at home, as though we belong, has run our lives. If we could find this illusory thing we would not be lonely anymore. If we found this thing we would know what it means to be loved and accepted. We would be happy and fulfilled if we could just find it.

We believe we find our answers in the arms of another lover, devouring more brownies, driving our car too fast or working long hours. The thought of a drink or drug may be the answer as well. Our search for something to fulfill us is daunting and controlling.

Yearning and searching for something to make us feel better can move us into destructive behaviors and activities. We may feel that when we take our first drug or drink we have the answer. We may feel that when we eat the brownies or the whole cake we are filling the emptiness within.

We are all searching for something to fill what’s missing in our lives. We feel separate and different from others, isolated and lonely. This yearning can take us into destructive behaviors, activities and substances that seem like a temporary fix to our problems. We look for relationships, for example, no matter what they entail, to fill the void.

The search for wholeness is the search for the difference between our small self (our ego) and the deeper self (our spiritual connection). The small self is very familiar. It is the part of us that pays the bills, lives in the real world, functions on a day to day basis and runs around just doing. The deeper self transcends our limitations. It is that which understands there is more than the physical side of us and the doer part of us. When these parts of self are separated, we look to fill the void, to find the connection. This connection is the understanding that there is more to this life than being on the move all the time.

The spiritual development and challenge is to recognize that we are trying to fill the void. This place of wholeness we seek is our spiritual core. Recognizing when we are searching for something to fill us up is a start. Recognizing what we are trying to fill, or what is missing, is the next step. Balance is the key.

The yin-yang symbol in Taoism depicts the perfect balance between the masculine and the feminine within us all. It is the balance of all things. There are two parts, opposites, to all things but they can be balanced and thrive.

We will always struggle with which self we are living in any given moment of a day. Choose which one you want to live in. Balance your life and find positive, spiritual practices to help fill the void in your search for wholeness.

Catherine Zeeb holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in Metaphysics. She has a private therapy practice in Edwards. You can visit her Web site at

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