Vail Valley Voices: Church of Grateful Living |

Vail Valley Voices: Church of Grateful Living

M.G. Gallagher
Vail, CO, Colorado

So I’m walking slowly (relaxing for a change), down the 16th Street Mall in Denver, with its usual collection of the rich to the poorest of street people.

Sure enough, as I hit the section where there are very nice outdoor restaurants and trendy shops, there was Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) raising his hands to the sky and praising God. And every time he raised his hands to the sky, he became very trendy and up to the times, pants falling down, with full plumbers’ butt to the rear. To the front, he flashing everyone, including women and children.

I got on the phone ASAP, non-emergency to the Denver Police Department, as I didn’t want the clothing shops in the immediate area to pick up on the latest fashion statement and scoop Jesus on a new clothing line.

I knew before I was done dialing that he was not heading toward 16th Street, where he was not likely to get hit by a bus. I knew that he would walk slowly through the shop section and head out to 15th Street rush hour traffic and right into it. I also knew that the guy would be putty in my hands, as he was so amazingly harmless that he would be an easy follow and then control: “Hey buddy, need some cigarettes?”

I would have stayed there no matter how difficult, and stayed on my cell phone as a phone call by the people in the mall wouldn’t have mattered, and hadn’t happened anyway. The cops could not have found him until he would have been a sad pancake in 15th Street rush hour traffic.

“Hey guy, how ya doing?” was a good start, and, “Let’s go find some cigarettes” is like having a dog following one around with doggie treats in hand. Piece of cake, but otherwise Jesus would have walked into his certain critical injury or death.

To make a short story long, the Denver Police — four blue helmets on Harleys with an awesome commander arrived — and she and the team cuffed Jesus and got him to safety.

He was well known to the police, and a psychiatric addict. His only mission was to get to the Rescue Mission. Traffic didn’t exist in his head. According to one of the blue helmets, he would have been crunched in traffic otherwise, as his only mission was to get to Jesus saves and walk on traffic water to get there.

So let’s get to get to the beginning of the story. When I arrived and saw Jesus, nobody at all in the mall was reaching for a cell phone while he was accidentally exposing himself to children and women.

In this case, their apathy and lack of realization about his real route to certain injury or death worked out. If anybody would have called by the time he left, he wouldn’t have been found. In this case, the right person happened along and a 20-minute crisis intervention was easier than eating an apple.

But I think we all get the point. Also, I listened closely to the police dispatcher, and vice-versa. Crisis averted. life saved.

See you soon. Back to that walk down Denver’s 16th Street mall. Still haven’t gotten to Daz Bog for that coffee.

M.G. Gallagher lived in Eagle County for decades.

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