Vote For Pedro … Preston, Pete or Paul
VAIL – What happens when you co-star in a movie opposite no one else anyone will remember? If you’re Napoleon Dynamite’s Efren Ramirez, aka “Pedro,” you take your money from the movie, buy a couple of turntables, a selection of today’s top 40 rap albums, and organize a posse of yuppies to do your bidding – such as delivering drinks and women. In other words, you go on the Vote For Pedro Tour. The Vote For Pedro Tour… where do I begin? I will give Ramirez credit for taking advantage of his marketability. The credit stops there. His lackeys on stage never referred to him as Efren or Ramirez, they called him Pedro. So from here on out – that’s what I will call him.
Pedro started the night off by playing his harmonica to Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” Not a bad start, although it went all down hill from there. He proceeded to play what he called hip-hop, but I call rap, then onto the ’80s music and house music. Pedro’s turntable skills were weak, playing most of his songs from start to finish with little mixing. He should stick with baking cakes. However, what Pedro lacked in his turntable skill, he made up in his dancing. Now there’s a niche: Pedro the dancing DJ. In my opinion, a DJ shouldn’t have as much time to dance as Pedro did. A DJ should be too busy playing music. I’ve never seen Mixmaster Mike, DJ Z-Trip, Cut Chemist, RJD2, or any DJ in the valley or Denver dance. Dancing is for the crowd; playing music is for the DJ.
Meanwhile, Pedro’s pack of toadies are scanning the crowd for women to bring on stage. About 45 minutes into the show the music stops. The ring leader for Pedro’s entourage announces that it is now time for the girls dancing on stage to confess their love for Pedro, after which Pedro can choose the girl he wants (what he plans to do with her one can only assume.) This where I lose it. Nobody at 8150 paid a $10 cover to watch some slutty tourist tell some crappie DJ how much she loves him. Yet there we were, some of us booing, some of us cheering. I am not one to heckle a performer, but this was just too much. Can’t Pedro try to hook up after the show, or heck, at least put off this nonsense until near the end of the show? This went on for at least another 30 minutes. The clock hit 1:20 a.m., I slammed what was left of my beer and got the hell out of there. If I were Pedro, I would stick with acting or perhaps organizing several posses around the country. Hey, maybe I’ll start touring, playing my iPod playlists while my posse of yuppies do my bidding – Vote For Preston.
Vail, ColoradoVail, Colorado