Watch your skis, pal
I’m not claiming to be the Emily Post of the ski world, but I’ve spent enough time on the slopes to figure out some ski etiquette. I’m assuming that the guy who skied over my skis in the lift line last weekend couldn’t care less about reading up on ski etiquette, but for those of you who make it a habit of trying not to offend others, you may appreciate some of these helpful suggestions.Suggestion No. 1: Leave the snow camouflage at homeI understand the need to find new ski trends, but snow camo is the dumbest thing I’ve seen since ballet skiing. The white, gray and black spotted combo is not the brainchild of a brilliant skiwear designer; its purpose is to make you invisible against the backdrop of snow, rock and wood. Unless you want to be blindsided by some yahoo skier who’s going a bit too fast for his rear-entry boots and sunglasses (tears-a-streamin’), leave the camo to our nation’s finest.Suggestion No. 2: Don’t smoke in the lift lineYou just finished a great run on a beautiful, blue-sky day and you’re enjoying being out in the fresh, Colorado air… until you get a nose full of smoke. There’s nothing worse than being out in such a naturally gorgeous environment and having to inhale cigarette smoke. If you have to smoke, wait until you’re at least on a moving chairlift or out of reach of others. The lift line is NOT a good place to enjoy your cigarette.Suggestion No. 3: Don’t ski over other people’s skisIsn’t it a coincidence that everyone is spaced out equally in the lift line? No. It’s because most people understand not to ski over other people’s skis. I, of all people, understand that the tops of my skis don’t affect their performance, but if you want a sure-fire way to piss me off, stand on my tails. And don’t think I can’t feel you back thereSuggestion No. 5: Avoid carnage in the Covered BridgeI followed someone the other day from the Vista Bahn to the Covered Bridge. We were both making good time I in shoes, he in unbuckled boots. He carried his speed into the Covered Bridge, with his skis over his shoulder and poles swinging at his side. Although his traction was sufficient on the road, as soon as he hit the bridge he was ankles-over-ass to the horror of about five other people. Bridges are more prone to ice than roads, so do us all a favor and check your speed before entering the Covered Bridge. You’re not only saving yourself, but also avoiding a massacre.Crystal Clear is a sophisticated savvy, sexy Vail native who can be reached at email@example.com.
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