What do we do with these people now that the election is over?
The election is just an itch in the britches of the body politic, which frees up a bunch of qualified help we could use during the ski season.
For example, all those folks who thought up the attack ads that we enjoyed ” mostly because they weren’t attacking us ” are now digging the wax out of unemployed ears.
While I’m a God-fearing Baptist who isn’t supposed to believe in penance, a little manual labor would do their souls some good. And because they can’t have the gig look like a step backward, I suggest we make them part of the Vail Resorts Bowl Patrol.
It sounds pretty glamorous when you tell people in bars what you do to make the rent. You’d think they were cruising the Back Bowls in search of guests to do good for, but you’d be wrong.
The Bowl Patrol is one of those character-building positions. People who don’t want to do it call that sort of thing an opportunity. Basically, you clean toilets, which is only a little more icky than what they were just doing.
Whether you’re busy cranking out 527 attack ads based on half-truths and outright lies or scrubbing porcelain thrones, you’re still shoveling the equivalent of bovine byproduct that would appear to be some sort of spiritual gift, given the tone of the election campaigns just past.
Unsuccessful candidates could be on-mountain photographers. They’ve just spent the last several weeks standing in the middle of crowds of people, smiling, waving and trying to attract attention.
Have you ever tried to get past those photographers early in the season? They’re like Karl Mecklenberg on commission.
Or maybe you should sign them up for your vertical marketing scheme. Compared to looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the future of the republic depends on you drinking the Democrat/Republican Kool-Aid and agreeing completely, making you believe in Amway should be a breeze.
After all, if we don’t follow our leaders blindly and without question, how can we ever have true liberty?
Business Editor Randy Wyrick can be reached at 748-2977 or firstname.lastname@example.org.