X-Files movie deserves half a star
Vail CO, Colorado
EAGLE COUNTY, Colorado ” I think I’m giving the rating a little nostalgic boost. As a screenplay/film, it deserves nothing more than a half star.
When I saw one of the eight “X-Files: I Want to Believe” trailers promoting the film, I was just as excited as when we found out that the show’s stars, Mulder and Scully, had a child together in one of the series’ later seasons.
But the movie was more disappointing than the series finale. It never should have been called a movie. Instead, it could have been marketed as a lost epilogue episode because it stood alone from the series in its plot.
There were no large government conspiracies, extraterrestrial involvement, cover-ups or even a strong supernatural element. There was no subtle element of the unexplained. It was abandoned after the first draft of the script.
Instead, we were left with a glossed-over explanation and revealing of a villainous scheme involving a stilted and otherwise interchangeable current medical issue.
The story had the same plotline development as the show as well as similar television devices. Take the cheesy and almost nonexistent special effects.
I thought I was watching an episode of “Law and Order” with David Duchovny guest-starring as a parody of Mulder. If the drawn out, superfluous interactions between Mulder and Scully were not in this movie and were replaced by the show’s quick quirks, then it would have aired at the FOX regulation time of 42 minutes.
But that doesn’t sell merchandise.
The only other resemblance to the series was the reference to William, Scully and Mulder’s child, the names of the characters themselves and Scully’s disbelief in the supernatural events that occur, despite the evidence. For such an incredible and intriguing show, the movie left me wanting a real explanation of what happened. Not just a regurgitated, underdeveloped story that I’ve seen 20 times over.
I thought a joke was being played on me. Even after the climax, I prayed there was more than what I had just seen.
And just as I thought I would never hear the overtly forced phrase “I want to believe” or some other ill-contrived concoction, there it was again … for the 12th time.
In office meetings, we play a game in which we try to fit “obtuse” into as many sentences as we can without the rest of the group knowing.
I think “X-Files” writer/director Chris Carter sat in on one of those meetings or at least has played the game.
Sigh… I might be wrong.
At least I got to see the duo at it once again. I wanted to believe it would be good.