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You stink like snow

Compiled by Allen R. Smith

Anyone who’s been skiing for more than 20 years can hardly forget the irrefutable fragrance of wool ski sweaters and mothballs, moistened by your most recent fall.In my first year of ski instructing, I had a group of 5- to 7-year-olds just learning how to ski. During lunch, I was talking with the kids about what they liked to do, how many brothers and sisters they had, etc.A 6-year old boy who was sitting next to me exclaimed, “You stink!” I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly so I asked him, “Excuse me, what did you say?”His response was an unequivocal, “You stink!”I did the armpit test to confirm that my deodorant was still working. It was. So I asked him again, “I stink?”He responded, “Yeah, you stink like snow!”- Vicky Prouty, Okemo, Vt.She’s easier to pick up, this seasonMany years ago, I had an overweight French woman in a beginner’s class. If she weighed an ounce, she weighed over 200 pounds.From the very first run, you could tell that she really enjoyed skiing and intended to excel at it. There was just one problem. Whenever she fell, she could not get back up.She would lie on the snow like a turtle on its back until I came to rescue her. This started to get old after 20 or 30 times but together, we persevered.Despite a very exhausting first day on skis, she promised me, “I’ll be back to ski with you again next year.”As promised, she returned a year later. She called me while I was up at the ski school office on the Zugspitze glacier field above Garmisch-Partenkirchen.”Eric, would you please come down and go shopping with me? I need your assistance with buying new ski equipment.”So, I went down, planning to meet her in the lobby of one of the better hotels. When I arrived, I looked around for the heavy-set lady from the year before. After no luck searching for her, a gorgeous, trim woman jumped up and screamed, “Eric, here I am, mon cheri! Here I am!”Standing before me was a voluptuous French woman. She said, “You don’t recognize me, do you?” I had to admit that I didn’t.She said, “It’s me, Francine. Don’t you remember me?” After concentrating hard enough, I was finally able to recognize her.Francine explained, “I was so embarrassed last winter when you had to help me up all day that I lost over 66 pounds this summer. I should be much easier to pick up now!”- Eric Windisch, VailVail, Colorado


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