Z Blog " Dear leaders go to the movies
From top secret CIA files, here are the favorite movies of world leaders past and present, and what intelligence analysts think this says about these leaders’ psychological states:
– George W. Bush ” “Finding Nemo.” He finds the plot complex. Condi has to explain “trick ending” to him every time he watches it.
– Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (president of Iran) ” Anything by Woody Allen. Can’t get enough of that self-deprecating Jewish humor while he plans the annihilation of Israel.
– Kim Jong-il ” “The Muppets Take Manhattan”: Conquers New York City vicariously through Broadway exploits of zany, lovable puppets. Dear Leader insists that his top advisors ” but only his top advisors ” refer to him as “Miss Piggy.”
– Saddam Hussein ” “Smokey and the Bandit”: As a fellow mustache wearer, he has the deepest admiration for Burt Reynolds.
– Tony Blair ” “Patton” or “Dirty Harry”: Likes tough, masculine Americans who tell people what to do. Does a mediocre Clint Eastwood impression.
– George H.W. Bush ” “The Godfather”: Realizes he’s a creep but that his son is even creepier.
– Fidel Castro ” “Team America: World Police:” Communism makes him laugh, too.
– Hillary Clinton ” “Say Anything.” No explanation required.
– Dick Cheney ” “Terminator” trilogy: Can relate to cold, mechanical impulses. Plus, it doesn’t look like there’s much of an environment to worry about in the future in which the machines are in charge. Has fantasizes of joining the machines and wiping out humanity.
From another recently un-earthed batch of top secret CIA files, here are the favorite songs of major world figures past and present, and what intelligence analysts think this says about these figures’ psychological states:
– Fidel Castro ” “Margaritaville.” Original vision for Cuba was tropical amusement park and world’s largest tiki bar, not communist dictatorship that made him a disgustingly wealthy dinosaur. Oh well.
– Donald Rumsfeld ” “Take This Job and Shove It.” Has resigned nearly a dozen times, but no one else wants to be secretary of defense, right no, so he can’t quit. At least he’s patriotic ” or pathetic.
– Karl Rove ” “I’m A Fool For You.” Though he won’t show it in public, he’s getting sick of playing second fiddle to a moron.
– Bill Clinton ” “The Boys Are Back in Town.” If Democrats win Congress in the fall and they convince Americans to tinker a bit with the rules about only being president for two terms, he’ll pummel Hillary in the primary.
– Jimmy Carter ” “What’s So Funny (About Peace, Love and Understanding?).” Really, Jimmy wants to know.
– Dick Cheney ” “Mr. Roboto.” His claim that he inspired the 1980s smash hit has not been verified.
– Osama bin Laden ” “Highway to Hell.” He reportedly digs the power chords, but has no sense of irony.
Assistant Editor for Local News Matt Zalaznick can be reached at 748-2926 or firstname.lastname@example.org.